Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions.Some think this is fully justified while others think its unfair.Discuss both views and give opinion

#sports #professionals #money #people #professions #think

Triumphant

Correct your spelling

sportsmen

show examples

sports men

Correct your spelling

sportsmen

show examples

and women take considerably greater amounts of money compared to other

occupation

Fix the agreement mistake

occupations

show examples

.Some

group

Fix the agreement mistake

groups

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of individuals think that they are entitled to earn a lot of money,whereas others claim that they are taking a lot for the owners to realize.In my opinion, neither

sports

nor other occupations should earn peanut.

First

of all, the benefits that accompany

sports

are enormous including: sponsorships, advertising and meritocracy just to mention a few.

Moreover

,career

sports men

Correct your spelling

sportsmen

show examples

and women have a healthy lifestyle and physical fitness that enable them to reduce frequent hospital visits

thus

increasing the amount of time they get to work.

For example

, Kenya Prisons sponsor

sports men

Correct your spelling

sportsmen

show examples

and women on merits and earn

six digit

Add a hyphen

six-digit

show examples

figures every month.

Thus

sports

Change the noun form

sport

show examples

is a lucrative career that

need

Change the verb form

needs

show examples

to be recognized.

On the other hand

, other occupations should

also

take home

good

Add an article

a good

show examples

amount of money because they are relevant to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society too.

For instance

, nurses and doctors who toil a midst pandemic to help the sick people.

Therefore

,just like any other

profession

Add a comma

,profession

show examples

they should get equally good pay. In conclusion, either

sports

careers or other occupations should not be belittled because they are both relevant to the current society today.Su

Submitted by Sabina Hamisi on Thu Jul 22 2021

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

196 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions.Some think this is fully justified while others think its unfair.Discuss both views and give opinion

Word Count

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Your Friend wants to send his/her children to your house for the weekend. Write a letter to him/her and say: - Agree to this arrangement - Say what time is suitable for you - Describe what are you planning to do

Today, many people are suffering from health problems because of fast food the Government should tax higher fast food what is your opinion about this?

Working hours today are too long and people are not spending as much as time as they should with their families or on lesisure activites. What is your opion ?

The continued rise in the world's population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. What are the causes of this continued rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?