Better driver education for better driving habits is more effective than heavier punishments for driving offenses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is no doubt in my mind that
this
topic came at the right time and it shouldn't just be an essay where
people
debate
about
Correct pronoun usage
itabout

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
, it should be an important part of society where drivers are better educated than punished. I will personal agree and
also
put my resources in advocating that better
driver
education
for better living driving habits is more effective than heavier punishment for driving
offenses
Change the spelling
offences

The spelling of offenses is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

show examples
. I could still remember what happened to me two months ago when I was travelling to another state for an important family meeting, the
driver
was more concerned about making money
instead
of his
safety
, the
safety
of his passengers and the
safety
of other road users.
This
impression, clearly showed that he will be glad to pay heavier punishment for his
offense
Change the spelling
offence

The spelling of offense is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

show examples
instead
of
safety
because he lacked
better
Correct article usage
a better

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

show examples
driver
's
education
. If
driver
Add an article
the driver
a driver

The noun phrase driver seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
(s) is/are asked to pay heavily for their
offenses
Change the spelling
offences

The spelling of offenses is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

show examples
or punished heavily, the
likehood
Correct your spelling
likelihood

The word likehood is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

is that the mindset
is not change
Change the verb form
is not changing
is not changed

It appears that the form of the verb change does not work with is in this sentence.

show examples
and the offender might repeat
same
Change the article
the same

It appears that the phrase same action does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

show examples
action but with better
Correct your spelling
education

The word eduction doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
eduction
Correct your spelling
education

The word eduction doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
, the mindset, the orientation
are all modify
Change the verb form
are all modified
are all modifying

It appears that the form of the verb modify does not work with are in this sentence.

show examples
to see the consequence of your negative actions and the outcome of your positive decisions. We have many
people
on the roads who have little or no knowledge about driving and punishing
such
people
will not yield a long time positive
effects
Fix the agreement mistake
effect

It seems that effects may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
due to the fact that they might not know all the "do and don't" of driving. Whereas if
Correct article usage
the same

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

show examples
same
Correct your spelling
some

The word same doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
people
have better driving
education
, there is a higher probability that things will go
a
Change preposition
in a

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
positive direction.
Education
has always being a tool for
transformation
Correct article usage
the transformation

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

show examples
of the mind and society.
Thus
, educating or better
driver
's
education
will surely yield more results than heavier punishment.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next: