IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Better driver education for better driving habits is more effective than heavier punishments for driving offenses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#driver #education #habits #punishments #offenses
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There is no doubt in my mind that
this
Linking Words
 topic came at the right time and it shouldn't just be an essay where
people
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 debate
about
Correct pronoun usage
itabout
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, it should be an important part of society where drivers are better educated than punished. I will personal agree and
also
Linking Words
 put my resources in advocating that better
driver
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education
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 for better living driving habits is more effective than heavier punishment for driving
offenses
Change the spelling
offences
show examples
. I could still remember what happened to me two months ago when I was travelling to another state for an important family meeting, the
driver
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 was more concerned about making money
instead
Linking Words
 of his
safety
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, the
safety
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 of his passengers and the
safety
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 of other road users.
This
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 impression, clearly showed that he will be glad to pay heavier punishment for his
offense
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offence
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instead
Linking Words
 of
safety
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 because he lacked
better
Correct article usage
a better
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driver
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's
education
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. If
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driver
Add an article
the driver
a driver
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(s) is/are asked to pay heavily for their
offenses
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offences
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 or punished heavily, the
likehood
Correct your spelling
likelihood
 is that the mindset
is not change
Change the verb form
is not changing
is not changed
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 and the offender might repeat
same
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the same
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 action but with better
Correct your spelling
education
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eduction
Correct your spelling
education
show examples
, the mindset, the orientation
are all modify
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are all modified
are all modifying
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 to see the consequence of your negative actions and the outcome of your positive decisions. We have many
people
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 on the roads who have little or no knowledge about driving and punishing
such
Linking Words
people
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 will not yield a long time positive
effects
Fix the agreement mistake
effect
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 due to the fact that they might not know all the "do and don't" of driving. Whereas if
Correct article usage
the same
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same
Correct your spelling
some
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people
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 have better driving
education
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, there is a higher probability that things will go
a
Change preposition
in a
show examples
positive direction.
Education
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 has always being a tool for
transformation
Correct article usage
the transformation
show examples
 of the mind and society.
Thus
Linking Words
, educating or better
driver
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's
education
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 will surely yield more results than heavier punishment.
Submitted by ejiromillicent on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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