IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

A University should accept male and female students equally in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the above statement?

#university #students
In a modern era, women are competing with men in every perspective.
However
, in education, universities must receive pupils the same level of strength in all subjects.In my opinion, I partially agree with the statement due to a plethora of reasons with female students.
To begin
 with,it is an undeniable option to encourage undergraduates to join in diversity courses.Despite
this
,if colleges are offering only a few job oriented courses
then
 there is demand for each and every subject during the course of the study.
For example
, the University of Toronto introduced a career training program,
however
, it has a limited seat over the four-year study program.Along with, universities receive applications from both genders.If only the world would be more open. In fact, human rights are present in order to provide equal chances in life. If fewer females hold the important sectors of a country, they will naturally feel deprived and
therefore
this
 will result in severe competition with males.
In addition
 to that, a mother is more emotionally attached to her children and as a
consequence
Add a comma
,consequence
show examples
 the figure of a woman plays a role model for adolescents. As an illustration, mothers usually provide help when it comes to studying. So in
this
 case, female education at the highest level should be considered as the main priority. In conclusion, I would recommend universities to accept both genders equally due to the fact that women deserve the same treatment as men in every situation of life.
Submitted by tejakondapalli88 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: