It is important to ensure that children with a wide range of abilities and from a variety of social backgrounds mix with each other at school. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
It is important for
everyone
in this
world to accept people
of other countries and cultures. I believe think that this
attitude of acceptance should be taught to children
from a young age.Some people
are of the opinion that children
with various abilities and social backgrounds should study together at the same school. In my opinion, this
is a very good idea and it can be very beneficial for children
. In the following paragraphs
I will justify my opinion and provide supporting details for it.
Add a comma
,paragraphs
Children
must learn that the world is like a family and everyone
is an important part of it. Allowing children
belonging to different social backgrounds to mix with each other will help them to develop an open mindset . They will learn to be more tolerant and accepting to
Change preposition
of
people
who have a
different belief systems and traditional values and Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
this
can be really advantageous for their future life. For instance
, my brother completed his education in an international school which
had students from all over the world. And because of Correct pronoun usage
that
this
,he has grown to be a very patient and an
understanding adult.
Correct article usage
apply
Everyone
has a different level of intelligence and skill set and this
is also
true in case
of Correct article usage
the case
children
. I strongly believe that children
should never be compared to each because
of it.Studying in a school where Correct pronoun usage
other because
people
having different talents , helps children
understand that no one is good at everything but there is always something that a person is better at as compared to others.This
teaches children
to respect other's abilities even if they are different than
themselves and Change the preposition
from
also
if it is an ability that is
not common in the
society. He/she should not be treated differently because of Correct article usage
apply
this
.For instance
, there could a student who is a very good painter but he/she could be extremely bad at studies and never gets good grades. Such
a student should never be looked down upon ,
because even though he/she can't study well, the student can go on to become a great artist.
To conclude , sending Remove the comma
apply
children
to schools with people
from a range of different social backgrounds and various talents can teach them a lot of important life lessons.It will help to
them to become an Change preposition
apply
open minded
adult who respects Add a hyphen
open-minded
everyone
and embraces the fact that every person is different and being from a different social background doesn't means
that the person is bad.Change the verb form
mean
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite