People should look after their health for personal benefits, rather than a duty for a society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays everyone is becoming more aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health, and some
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
that looking after our health is a good personal
benifit
Correct your spelling
benefit
benefits
, rather than a duty for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. I agree with the statement that people should look after their health for personal
benifit
Correct your spelling
benefit
benefits
.
First
of
all
Add a comma
,all
show examples
there are so many
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
why we should think
Submitted by nethmini on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • duty
  • well-being
  • burden
  • healthcare systems
  • productive
  • economy
  • example
  • empower
  • informed choices
What to do next:
Look at other essays: