IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In most successful organizations, some people believe that communication between managers and workers are the most important factor, other people say that other factors are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#organizations #people #communication #managers #workers #factor #factors
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People assume the most essential key between managers and workers is
communication
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 while others believe that there are more essential keys to
achieve
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achieving
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successful
Correct article usage
a successful
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organization
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. I will discuss both views in
this
Linking Words
 essay below.
Communication
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 is the key factor to strengthen
interpersonal
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the interpersonal
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relationship
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relationships
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 in
workplace
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the workplace
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 between managers and workers. A salient example is discussing
on
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apply
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how to solve
problem
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the problem
a problem
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 in a project. When the employees could not deliver their issue due to their anxiety if their
manager
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 would angry at them, it would cause misunderstanding. The
manager
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 would think that the
employee
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 could handle the problem while
actually
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,actually
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 the
employee
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 has no encouragement to deliver the problem.
For instance
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, employer and
employee
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 who build
communication
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, they could maintain good relationship inside and outside
work
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.
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Fix the agreement mistake
Employees
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Employee
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The employee
An employee
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 could share or brainstorm their opinion about improvement
to
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with
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 the executives. The executives should accept the feedback because it would help
company
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the company
a company
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 to achieve a goal to be
successful
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a successful
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organization
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.
On the other hand
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, there are other factors that could lead
great
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to great
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 success for
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organization
Correct article usage
an organization
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 apart from
communication
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such
Linking Words
 as integrity and trust.
For example
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, managers could not
work
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 alone without workers who will help them to achieve company
goal
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goals
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. There should be
a
Correct article usage
apply
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trust from
manager
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 to
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worker
Replace the word
work
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 so a
worker
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 would feel happy to do their
work
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.
However
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, a
worker
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 should proof their integrity as part of the responsibility to tackle their
work
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 and deliver the good result as well.
Nevertheless
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, these other factors might not happen if there is no
communication
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 between
manager
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 and
worker
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 to have
same
Add an article
the same
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 vision to achieve
successful
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the successful
a successful
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 goal in
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organization
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the organization
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. In conclusion, from my point of view,
communication
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 is the key success to build
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a relationship
the relationship
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relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
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 between employees and
employer
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employers
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 to create
positive
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a positive
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 environment in a workplace. Without good
communication
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, I believe that they could not communicate their purpose as well and the other factors
means
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mean
show examples
 nothing.
Submitted by Vanda Majas on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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