Some people think that the government should increase tax on unhealthy food to encourage people to start eating healthy. Do you agree or disagree?
Fast foodstuff on the plates at every meal is not only a habit but
also
a status symbol nowadays. It has been argued that the government must raise tax on such
kinds of cuisine items to galvanize the public to initiate eating fresh and healthy. I am
totally Verb problem
apply
agreed
with the Wrong verb form
agree
aforesaid
notion because it would help individuals to get rid of obesity and related diseases, Correct word choice
aforementioned
in addition
to that, it could also
enhance physical as well as
mental fitness. This
essay will dive into the detailed advantages of it in the upcoming paragraphs.
To commence with, it has been proved that eating burgers, pizza
is absolutely responsible for gaining obesity Correct word choice
and pizza
due to
high calory
contents in it. When people get erroneously habitual in eating Correct your spelling
calorie
such
unhealthy food
the cholesterol level in their blood rises resulting in raised blood pressure, heart disease and even heart attack. So, if the law would apply
heavy tariffs on eating fast Wrong verb form
applies
food
, the crowd will
definitely reduce eating them as they will Wrong verb form
would
be
no longer pocket Verb problem
apply
friendly
. Correct your spelling
pocket-friendly
For instance
, according to
the survey conducted by WHO, in March 2020, revealed that the number of the population visiting fast-food
restaurants in London suddenly came down to 40% when additional taxes were implemented. This
elucidates the effectiveness of tax applications.
In addition
to that family eating an unhealthy snack is more lethargic, lazy and suffers from depression and anxiety due to
lack of nutrients in their diet. The ministry's decision to apply taxation on unhealthy food
would definitely promote
people to eat fresh fruits and vegetables which are comparatively cheaper and readily available. Verb problem
encourage
For example
, in my neighbourhood, both children of Mrs Patil were notorious and hesitated to eat home-cooked food
. But when,
their prices hiked and it became difficult for Mrs Patil to afford them, eventually everyone's plate started becoming full of home-cooked meals almost every single day and they even started enjoying the Remove the comma
apply
food
. Thus
it substantiates that applying duty on fast feed is a demand of the time today as it is going to benefit society at last
.
In conclusion, I believe that although
there are various ways to cut down on eating unhealthy food
, the most effective one is the implementation of fines on them. It would not only help the people but also
raise the revenue of the authority
that too for Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
the
great cause.Correct article usage
a
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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are somewhat present, but they could be more clearly defined and developed. There is a need for more explicit connections between ideas and more effective use of paragraphing to enhance the coherence and cohesion of the essay.
task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the task, presenting clear and comprehensive ideas with relevant specific examples. However, the response could be more effectively structured and developed, with more focused and detailed support for the main points.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.