‘For all children, the ability to play a musical instrument is just as important as the ability to read and write.’ How far do you agree with this suggestion? How important is it for a child to learn to play a musical instrument, in your view?

#‘for #children #ability #instrument #suggestion #child

It is

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apply

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undenialbe

Correct your spelling

undeniable

the fact that each and every one of us

shoul

Correct your spelling

should

know how to play at least one musical

instrument

However

, while the

ability

to play an

instrument

can provide some

benifits

Correct your spelling

benefits

such

as improve concentration, increase creativity,etc, I do not agree with the idea that kids need to learn to play

musical

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a musical

show examples

instrument

Fix the agreement mistake

instruments

show examples

just like they learn

read

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to read

show examples

and write.

First

of all, literacy is a necessary skill

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for

show examples

students

. Because literacy is the

first

and compulsory

subject

children

learn in school, from

this

skill

students

cam understand information coming from other subjects and develop themselves.

For example

, youngster

students

who do not have

reading

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the reading

show examples

ability

can not learn literature so they will be lacking communication skills,

expresing

Correct your spelling

expressing

opinions and persuasion.

Moreover

, reading and writing skill

also

affect their career.It is not the same as

ability

Add an article

the ability

show examples

to play

the

Correct article usage

show examples

instrument

. Kids who can not play musical instruments still study well, develop other

Correct your spelling

competencies

show examples

competences

Correct your spelling

competencies

show examples

and get the job they want.

Furthermore

, not all

Change preposition

apply

show examples

students

Add an article

the students

show examples

have a gift in

music

is not their cup of tea so it would be unfair to treat

music

as an essential

subject

. If

music

is included in the compulsory curriculum, it will be a burden on the

children

For example

children

with a talent for

music

will easily pass the requirements of the

subject

, but the rest of the

children

may feel pressured to try to practice something beyond their

ability

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apply

show examples

and feel inferior itself. In conclusion,

music

should still be an optional

subject

. Pupils should know play

instrument

Fix the agreement mistake

instruments

show examples

but it cannot be a measure of a child's

ability

, so it should not be considered as important as literacy.

Submitted by thientrang1616 on Sun Jul 25 2021

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

280 words

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Clear and correct grammar

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Relevant & specific examples

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Some people think that the government should ban dangerous sports.Others say that the society should be allowed to freely participate in any activities of their discuss both sides and give opinion

online shopping has various advantages for consumers but may also have disadvantages, such as the loss of some individual privacy. do the advantages of online shopping for the consumers outweight the disadvantages ?