IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people say that sports play an important role in society. Others, however, think that it is nothing more than a leisure acitivity. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #sports #role #society #leisure #acitivity
Sports
 is believed to be an essential cog in fundamental and societal development. Whereas, few have labelled it as nothing but a free-time activity.
Thus
,
this
 essay will discuss both views in detail and give my opinion.
Firstly
, physical activities
such
 as; games, not only provide vital physical exercise in our somewhat docile lifestyle, it gives us an opportunity to mix with other
people
, which is immensely important for our mental wellbeing.
Furthermore
, sporting events often unite
people
 from all castes, creeds and religions,
for example
, countries like India and Pakistan do not have the best diplomatic relationship but when they compete against each other, all the animosity is often put aside and all the supporters are seen enjoying the game together.
Secondly
, I do understand the values of
people
 who are avid supporters of the thinking that it's nothing more than a leisure activity.
Moreover
, these are the
people
 who probably were deprived of participating in any form of
sports
 in their childhood.
For instance
, my father had a very tough upbringing,
as a result
, he never allowed us to play any games whatsoever and was adamant that the
sports
 were only for the wealthy and since we were struggling financially, it was deemed futile.
Similarly
, the society itself where we grow, makes a huge difference, whether any significance is given to the
sports
 or not. In the end, it is hardly a contentious notion that
sports
 are imperative to the well-being of human beings and ultimately for the betterment of society, even though, there are few who believe that it's just time-pass and nothing else.
Submitted by sagar_shrestha007 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: