IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Many people go to university for academic study. More people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #university #study #lack #workers #electricians #plumbers
It is true that students prefer to pursue academic studies rather than to follow vocational training courses. While I believe that graduates play a crucial role in society, I totally agree that we should encourage more people to qualify as plumbers, electricians, and other essential manual workers. There are many reasons why more people must be trained in manual work.
Firstly
,
such
 workers are necessary when new buildings or houses are constructed or when existing buildings are renovated or simply maintained. Indeed, in many countries, maintenance staff is employed in hospitals, schools, or museums, ensuring the safety of those who live in these areas.
Secondly
, in some developed countries, there is an existing imbalance between graduate students and labour workers.
This
 results in graduate employment and a shortage of skilled labour in many fields. More schoolchildren ought to be encouraged to attend vocational training courses. The
first
 thing is that the onus is on schools to modify the curriculum for pupils so that not all the emphasis is placed on preparation for academic study at university. Many schoolchildren are not academically inclined, but teachers should not consider them as failures. ̣̣ (Some students may be bad at academic studies, but they are good at playing sports or singing.)
In addition
, workshops in schools should provide an opportunity for pupils to learn 'hands-on skills', adapt the theory lessons to practical applications. Another measure that can be adopted is that parents should help their children to choose careers, explaining employment prospects and remuneration for manual labour with qualifications and skills. In conclusion, I agree that it is vital that we encourage more boys and girls to attend vocational courses because, without
such
 skilled labourers, society can not operate effectively.
Submitted by nhatrangthanyeu2013 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: