IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

An increasing number of people are buying what they need online. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

#people #development
Rightfully regarded as
one
 of the foremost is shopping online because many people are substantially interested in
this
;
therefore
, there are benefits and drawbacks of it.
This
 essay will discuss both views. On the
one
 hand, technological advance has continuously developed that it has affected
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
 many facets
such
 as shop, market, food, gadget, others, and that
one
 of the most impacts of
this
 is shop as everyone needs to purchase or consume what it must use in its life
such
 as food, device, some equipment, facility and others, that shopping online is more popular.
Furthermore
,
this
 can be available for everyone; to illustrate, today, a majority of people have a mobile phone which could communicate or survey on the internet, so
this
 is helpful for them to choose or decide what they want, and they still remain to compare a good between two different
shops
 which show a different price.
Moreover
,
one
 has a lot of web pages and
shops
 that are combined on
one
 site.
On the other hand
, there are many benefits of shopping online, that it is easily a crime on social media as a victim.
For example
, some
shops
 might not be a guarantee their goods because they might not have a real good, and many people are as a victim to
this
 situation.
In addition
, there are many
shops
 in shopping online, affecting to a different price;
for instance
, the Apple watch is really expensive, but some
shops
 can be affordable for everyone, it might be an unreal Apple watch. According to
this
 essay, it can conclude that there are more advantages than disadvantages,
however
, some
shops
 might be rogued to customers,
thus
 should check or search more review for these
shops
,
then
 customers can decide to purchase their goods.
Submitted by nutt.spider on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: