IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Cities around the world are continuing to expand as people leave the countryside .Some people prefer to live the city, while other like to live in the countryside. Discuss both views.

With
modernization
Change the spelling
modernisation
show examples
 happening in every part of the world,
cities
Use synonyms
 are expanding
rigorously
Rephrase
rapidly
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 increased the option of
people
Use synonyms
 migrating to
cities
Use synonyms
 for better facilities. Some
people
Use synonyms
 prefer dwelling in the city
while
Linking Words
 others like to stay in the countryside.
This
Linking Words
 essay discusses both views and their benefits. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand, most
people
Use synonyms
 these days
are preferring
Wrong verb form
prefer
show examples
 to stay in
cities
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 various benefits. Some include better educational facilities, fully equipped hospitals, entertainment zones
etc
Punctuation problem
, etc
show examples
.
People
Use synonyms
 are getting habituated to these comforts available in
cities
Use synonyms
 and are migrating from
villages
Use synonyms
 to
cities
Use synonyms
 all over the world.
For example
Linking Words
, if a person gets a sudden heart attack, if he resides in a city, it is easier for medical representatives to save him,
whereas
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 kind of infrastructure
lacks
Wrong verb form
is lacking
show examples
 in
villages
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
cities
Use synonyms
 provide an easy commute to workplaces as all the
organizations
Change the spelling
organisations
show examples
 are based
out of
Change preposition
in
show examples
cities
Use synonyms
.
These all
Correct word order
All these
show examples
 benefits make life easier in
cities
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 tend to choose to stay in the countryside
due to
Linking Words
 several reasons. Most
people
Use synonyms
 enjoy the calm and peaceful environment in the
villages
Use synonyms
 and small towns. There is far less pollution in the countryside when compared to
cities
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, we can stay closer to families if we stay in
villages
Use synonyms
.
People
Use synonyms
 these days are forgetting the values of relationships
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 staying close to families overcomes these issues.
To conclude
Linking Words
, both living in
cities
Use synonyms
 and
villages
Use synonyms
 have their advantages and disadvantages. But most
people
Use synonyms
are preferring
Wrong verb form
prefer
show examples
 to stay in
cities
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 the comforts and standard of living available in
cities
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

tip
Make your main view clear in the intro and keep it in the body. A simple plan helps.
tip
In each paragraph, keep one main idea and add a short example.
tip
Add more real facts or small details to show why a point is right or not.
tip
Use short sentences and common words to keep your writing easy to read.
tip
End with a strong closing that restates your view.
structure
The essay keeps a clear two sides view and ends with a conclusion.
coherence
There is a simple link between ideas, with 'on the one hand' and 'on the other hand'.
content
There is at least one good example to back a point.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • metropolitan areas
  • economic opportunities
  • career advancement
  • healthcare facilities
  • cultural diversity
  • countryside
  • tranquil environment
  • cost of living
  • close-knit communities
  • rural areas
  • housing affordability
  • social amenities
  • employment prospects
  • cultural vibrancy
  • hustle and bustle
What to do next:
Look at other essays: