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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Zoos are sometimes seen as necessary but not poor alternatives to a natural environment. Discuss some of the arguments for and/or against keeping animals in zoos.

#zoos #alternatives #environment #arguments #animals
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Some people believe that
zoos
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 are necessary, arguing that
zoos
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 play not only an educational role in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 but
also
Linking Words
 provide a safe environment for
animals
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 that are in danger. At the same time, others are against keeping
animals
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 in
zoos
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, claiming that it is crucial
captivate
Fix the infinitive
to captivate
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animals
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 apart from their natural habitat and humanity should not interfere
animal’s
Change preposition
with animal’s
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 circle of life. On the one hand, it might be said that
zoos
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 have educational value, every visitor is able not only lively observe the animal but
also
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 to know about it through the description.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in interactive
zoos
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 children and adults are allowed to touch and feed
animals
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, which brings people closer to nature. Another benefit of
zoos
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 is that it provides safe refuge for endangered species and injured
animals
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.
On the other hand
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,
zoos
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 cannot fully serve the needs of all
animals
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. It is almost impossible to duplicate the natural habitat of
animals
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, especially for large species,
such
Linking Words
 as the elephant, bears, hippos, rhinos, and others.
In addition
Linking Words
,
maintenance
Correct article usage
the maintenance
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 of
Correct article usage
a zoo
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zoo
Fix the agreement mistake
zoos
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 can be expensive and not always profitable, and due to lack of funds,
animals
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 often suffer from poor service and nutrition.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is not uncommon in
zoos
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, visitors feed
animals
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 with inappropriate food, thereby causing harm to
animals
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. Overall, it appears that,
although
Linking Words
 maintaining
zoos
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 is difficult, it might be beneficial for both human and animal worlds, having educational and protective roles, and if managed properly, it can be
perfectly
Add an article
a perfectly
show examples
 viable alternative to a natural environment.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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