IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In the modern world, it is no longer be necessary to use animals and animal products for food, clothing and medicine. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion based on your knowledge and experience.

It is certainly true that the
use
Use synonyms
 of different types of species in human life
is
Verb problem
has
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 reduced in recent years. As long as
people
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 are adopting alternatives as compared to
depend
Wrong verb form
depending
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 on
animals
Use synonyms
. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement
as well as
Linking Words
 all reasonable points will be elaborated on in the upcoming paragraphs
Linking Words
along
Punctuation problem
, along
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 with my opinion.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
unfurling
Verb problem
let's explore
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 some valuable reasons
of
Change preposition
for
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this
Linking Words
 topic. First and foremost, meat is the one of the richest
food
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 in the world because it contains a high amount of protein but only eat
this
Linking Words
food
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 are not good for individuals the reason behind it is that lots of
animals
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 are killed to fulfil the demand of
food
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 and it is a horrible thing for humanity and another point is that by eating animal
food
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people
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also
Linking Words
 face some health problems.
For example
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, bird flu is a common disease in the world and many
people
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Verb problem
have
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died throw it. To see these Kinds of
incidents
Punctuation problem
incidents,
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people
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 change their eating habits and consume vegetables and fruits.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, humans
also
Linking Words
make
Wrong verb form
made
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different kinds of things by
the
Wrong verb form
using
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use
Use synonyms
animals
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like
Punctuation problem
, like
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 clothes and medicines
in
Punctuation problem
, in
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 the past.
Due to
Linking Words
 the advancement, the
use
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 of
animals
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 is less as compared to
past
Correct article usage
the past
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time
Check wording
apply
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. There are several ways to make clothes
like
Punctuation problem
, like
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 chemical production of three and
convert
Wrong verb form
converting
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into
Correct pronoun usage
it into
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 clothing material
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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Use synonyms
use
Wrong verb form
using it
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 for
sticking
Verb problem
stitching
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also
Linking Words
 rather than
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use
Wrong verb form
using
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 leather for making clothes.
In addition
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, medical industries
also
Linking Words
use
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 natural products to make Madison's
such
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 as
Aurevadic
Correct your spelling
homoeopathic
 and allopathic are
also
Linking Words
 used in hospitals. In conclusion,
animals
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have
Correct word order
also have
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also
Linking Words
 the same feelings as humans
have
Verb problem
do
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. So
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use
Wrong verb form
using
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 natural methods is beneficial for
people
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as well as
Linking Words
 it saves the animal kingdom.

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planning
Plan your essay first. State a clear view at the start and keep it in all paragraphs.
structure
Make two or three main ideas. In each paragraph, start with a topic sentence and give one example.
linking
Use easy link words to show how ideas fit, like first, next, also, but, so.
grammar
Check grammar and word use. Use simple forms and correct spellings.
content
The essay shows a clear view and tries to give reasons.
structure
There is an effort to use examples about health and clothing.
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