Ownership of mobile phones has risen dramatically in recent years despite the potentially harmful effects they may have on our health or society. Goverments should introduce measures to restrict ownership of mobiles phones to those who need them for their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#ownership #phones #years #effects #health #society #goverments #measures #mobiles #work

It is argued that ownership of mobile phones should have restrictions due to its dramatic increase

Change preposition

apply

show examples

nowadays and effects on society. In my opinion, I completely disagree because the premises which some

people

base for defending that measure are uncertain. Restrictions cannot be supported if there are false arguments which based on. It is true there is an upward trending in owning mobile devices rather than

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in previous

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years;

however

, being alarmed for overall statistics is unnecessary. That data might be positive as technology simplifies better our lives.

Besides

, another reason for invalidating is that these devices possess harmful effects on health and society.

First

, there are not enough studies

which

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

find several negative detriments for our organism through radiation emitted by cellphones.

Second

, there exist

further more

Correct your spelling

furthermore

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benefits of mobile phones on society, so bad social

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

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because of technology could change throughout education given by the government.

On the other hand

, I believe

people

should use their mobiles devices without any limitation. Why?

Firstly

this

kind of technology helps

people

to communicate easily and in different ways.

For example

, you do not have to look for a public telephone if you have an emergency outside

home

Correct article usage

the home

show examples

or there are many platforms inside phones that you can use if your contact is not available by calling, like WhatsApp, FaceTime or Messenger.

Secondly

, it makes your routine less heavy due to, now, mobiles are smarter, taking longer naps or having time to focus on other issues.

Finally

, being humans are social by nature, so smart cellphones permit making networking

flexibility

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flexible

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. A huge help for office workers or

introvert

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introverted

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people

. In conclusion, introducing restrictions for ownership of mobiles could not be viable up to arguments a

favor

Change the spelling

favour

show examples

are not invalid, which I do not expect because of phone’s advantages.

Submitted by mayra.moresol on Wed Jul 28 2021

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

298 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The trend of increasing tourism causes environmental problems in many parts of the world. What are the main causes of pollution it creates? What can be done to reduce it?

In some countries, young people have become richer, healthier, and live longer, but they are less happy. What are the causes? What can be done to address this situation?

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that living in a high-rise apartment block is a lonely experience because there is no community spirit. Others say that people who live in high-rise apartments have a much better sense of community than those live in houses. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In many countries, people now wear Western clothes (suits, jeans) rather than traditional clothing. Why? Is this a positive or negative development?