IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Many people believe that modern music can have a negative impact on the young. Others believe the effect of modern music is positive. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #music #impact #effect
The given bar chart shows how many families have their own houses and how many rent a living place in England and Wales from 1918 to 2011. Overall, an increasing proportion of people have possessed
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
real estate in past years, while the housing rental rate shows a downtrend during
this
 period. There is a negative correlation between these two numbers. In 1918, a minor percentage of households bought their own houses about accounting for 22% of the overall families numbers, and
this
 number was constantly climbing until 2001, reaching a peak at 69%.
Then
 after 2019, the percentage of house owners decreased slightly. Different from the uptrend of households in owned accommodation, people were getting not inclined to rent a house. In 1918, the majority of the population lived in a rented house, and the per cent of
this
 was about 78%.
However
, fewer people have chosen to rent lodging since 1939, and
this
 trend lasted nearly 60 years. In 2001, the percentage of households living in rented homes was near the lowest point, at 31%, and
this
 finger increased in 2011, at 36%.
Submitted by liuhuixia0816 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • lifestyles and behaviours
  • glorify
  • distract
  • academic performance
  • self-expression
  • identity formation
  • source of inspiration
  • social and political messages
  • amplifying
  • accessible
  • influential
  • parental and educational guidance
  • critically analyze
  • responsible consumption
  • mitigate
What to do next:
Look at other essays: