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Band 2.5

Of all the global environmental problems, desertification is, perhaps, the most threatening for poor rural people. Desertification is the expansion of desert lands into previously non-desert areas. What are the causes of this problem? What can be done to solve this problem?

#desertification #people #expansion #desert #lands #non-desert #areas
It is argued that
the
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desertification
 is one of the most negative
effect
Change to a plural noun
effects
show examples
 of
the
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apply
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global environmental problems,
espacially
Correct your spelling
especially
 for poor rural
people
 who live far from the nearest town. In
this
essay
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,essay
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 I am going to discover the relevant causes and
then
 I try to suggest some
solution
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solutions
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 to solve
this
 problem.
Firstly
, the main cause of
desertification
 is
the
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apply
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climate change and the
steadily
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steady
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 increase
of
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in
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the
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apply
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temperture
Correct your spelling
temperature
. As a
consequence
Add a comma
,consequence
show examples
this
 can lead to
expand
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expanding
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 the desert into new areas and for the
people
 who live there can be extremely dangerous
becouse
Correct your spelling
because
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 have to move
in
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to
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other country
Change the wording
another country
other countries
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 for the lack of food and water. In my
opinion
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,opinion
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 I think that for avoiding
this
 negative
conseguence
Correct your spelling
consequence
consequences
 the
people
 must try to understand what is happening because,
although
 the
desertification
 is set in some
part
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parts
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 of Africa,
that is
 a
globally
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global
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 problem.Due to the
fact
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,fact
show examples
 there will be an increase of immigration to the country not involved in
this
 negative
conseguence
Correct your spelling
consequence
consequences
 for everybody. So I suggest
to reduce
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reducing
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 the
globally
Change the adverb
global
show examples
 temperature using an eco-friendly
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lifestyle
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life style
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lifestyle
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 and
to choose
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choosing
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the
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apply
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alternative energy
instead
 of using
the
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apply
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fossil fuel energy. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
 I believe that
the
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apply
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desertification
 is only one of the relevant
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 caused by
the
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apply
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global warming and all the
people
 have to discover
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
different solutions to try to solve the issue.
Submitted by edogiova01 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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