The government should spend more money on medical research to protect citizens’ health rather than on protecting the environment. Do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, it is generally claimed that the government revenue is limited.
As a result
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, some
people
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think that protecting
people
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’s
health
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can be best achieved through
governments
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investing
money
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in medical
research
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. Others believe that
governments
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should spend
money
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on protecting the
environment
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. I personally agree with the idea that the government should invest
money
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in medical
research
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. There are a number of strong arguments to support the idea that the government should spend
money
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on medical
research
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to protect citizens’
health
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. Not only can researching
medicine
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be good for
people
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’s
health
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but
also
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it is good for technology. The development of new drugs can make
people
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healthier
in addition
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to new technologies have
also
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been developed.
For instance
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, in COVID-19 time, scientists studied vaccines for
this
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virus to treat or protect
people
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from it. At the same time, treatment methods for lung-related diseases have
also
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been developed.
For example
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, the clinical application of ECOM technology has been
further
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verified.
Consequently
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, investing
money
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in medical
research
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rather than on the
environment
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.
While
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protecting the
environment
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also
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can bring more benefits to
people
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,
such
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as being beneficial to mental
health
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, there are some strong reasons to agree with the idea that investing
money
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in researching
medicine
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is more important than protecting the
environment
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. Studying
medicine
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can improve the local economy.
For instance
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, if
governments
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want to produce some drugs, they have to hire technical talents. Mass production of new
medicine
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by a large number of workers.
Therefore
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, it provides many jobs to the local area and promotes the local economy.
As a result
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,
governments
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should pay
money
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for medical
research
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. In conclusion,
while
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some believe that investing
money
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in protecting the
environment
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can be advantageous, others are of the opinion that spending
money
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on medical
research
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is a great way to increase our personal lives. I believe that the advantages brought about by researching
medicine
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predominantly overshadow the disadvantages.
Submitted by hsmkashi on

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task achievement
Expand and clarify your main points with further explanation and more varied examples. While you provided a good basis, deeper exploration of your reasons will strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Try to ensure your essay covers both sides of the argument more equally before stating your opinion. This approach will make your argument appear more balanced and considered.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance the cohesion of your essay by using a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly. Additionally, consider paragraphing your essay more logically to improve its structural flow.
coherence and cohesion
Work on developing a clearer thesis statement in your introduction. This will help guide your reader more effectively through your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • moral obligation
  • advanced treatments
  • economic benefits
  • workforce
  • healthcare costs
  • pollution
  • climate change
  • comprehensive benefits
  • investment
  • global sustainability
  • long-term health security
  • disease proliferation
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