Some people think that it is beneficial for children to do paid work, While others think it can be harmful for children . What are the advantages and disadvantages.

#people #children #work

It is often argued that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

doing paid jobs is good for the

chlidren

Correct your spelling

children

because they have money for their own expenses.

On the other hand

, some people

against

Add a missing verb

are against

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it because it affects their studies.

This

essay will articulate its merits and demerits in the following

paragharphs

Correct your spelling

paragraphs

. By doing paid work, children become

self dependent

Add a hyphen

self-dependent

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and they have money to buy the things which their parents can not afford. To explain

this

, some people do basic employment with low remuneration which is not enough to

fulfill

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fulfil

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the demands of their kids.

Moreover

, it

also

enhance

Change the verb form

enhances

show examples

their knowledge about

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society by meeting different kinds of people at the work .

For instance

, In a survey, in Italy, 60%

children

Change preposition

of children

show examples

did work in their vacations and helped their parents to run the expenses.

Therefore

, it is

benefit

Replace the word

beneficial

show examples

if the children do some kind of employment.

Submitted by ramneekvirdi44 on Thu Jul 29 2021

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

142 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

beneficial
harmful
advantages
disadvantages
financial independence
responsibility
valuable skills
impact
education
exploitation
negative effects
social life

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Some people think that it is beneficial for children to do paid work, While others think it can be harmful for children . What are the advantages and disadvantages.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Research has shown that spending less time in the office can reduce the use of energy (for example, electricity, gas). Thus some companies close for some days a week. Do this advantage of this development outhweight the disadvantage.

You saw an advert in the newspaper asking for volunteers to help run a charity event. Write a letter of application to the organisers. In your letter:  Explain why you are interest in helping  Give details suitable past experience  Suggest ways you might help with the event

Nowadays tourism has great impact on society. Do you agree or disagree.