IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many people are doing their shopping online on the internet nowadays. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of online shopping

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With the development of technology, most people from all over the world can buy and purchase things through the internet no matter how far the products are. Many famous online market brands
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 as Amazon,
Ebay
Correct your spelling
eBay

The word Ebay is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

, Taobao ,etc. Being able to ship overseas is the reason why people prefer to choose shopping online rather than shopping offline.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there are
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 some drawbacks
of
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 that as well. And here are the pros and cons of doing
purchase
Fix the agreement mistake
purchases

It seems that purchase may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 online.
Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, about the benefits, it is a lot more convenient than normal shopping.
Instead
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 of going to the market or the mall and spending hours
to visit
Change the verb form
visiting

To visit doesn’t seem to work here.

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 every single store to find the thing you need, you can look at the pictures of all the products of that shop through the internet and
then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 choose the one you want. It saves you tons of time and money for commuting.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, during the special days like the holidays or at the end of the season, there will be huge sales so the customers can get their favourite items
with
Change preposition
at

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 a much cheaper price and most of them
only
Add a missing verb
are only

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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 available online.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it provides you
multiple
Change preposition
with multiple

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 payment options like cash, credit card, debit card and
transfering
Correct your spelling
transferring

The word transfering is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

. They have a return policy in case you did not receive the item you purchased or you were not satisfied with it so you can ask for an exchange or refund.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it has many
disavantages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages

The word disavantages is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

too. About the goods, the transporting is fast and easy if you buy
it
Correct pronoun usage
them

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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 domestically. But if you buy it abroad, you will have to wait for a long time because of the tariffs and shipping over long distances.
Also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, sometimes you will meet
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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internet frauds that gives you the wrong or fake items and won’t pay you back.
Then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they may sell your
privacy
Replace the word
private

The word privacy doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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 information
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 as phone number, home address, etc. to other businesses for money. According to the reports, it is found that online scam cases have increased significantly in
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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recent years. In conclusion, purchasing online has both pros and cons, but the advantages still outweigh and can offset the cons.

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • E-commerce
  • Consumer behavior
  • Virtual marketplace
  • Cybersecurity
  • Digital footprint
  • Return policy
  • Comparison shopping
  • Customer reviews
  • Retail therapy
  • Logistics
  • User interface
  • Payment gateway
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