Environmental damage is a problem in most countries. What is the cause of this damage? What should be done about this problem?

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In recent years, many countries reported some problems regarding our
environment
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. These issues are suspected as the focal reason for climate change. I believe that there are two causes of
this
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damage and some solution needs to be taken.
To begin
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with, there are two crucial reasons which are harming the
environment
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.
Firstly
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, the main cause is the leap in population over these 20 years.
This
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rise leads to numerous problems in order to satisfy human needs,
such
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as the development of residential areas, the increase in the wardrobe industry, food, and other supplementary needs. Even worse, people drain these life sources from our planet which leads to destruction. Another reason for
this
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damaging phenomenon is the mining sector. The excessive mining
activities
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in some countries are damaging the neighbourhood of the mining area. As an illustration, the land issue in Sidoarjo, East Java, was caused by irresponsible mining
activities
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. It took a vast area of the city and the houses of its citizens. In order to solve
this
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issue, some solutions need to be executed by the government and individuals.
Firstly
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, the government should come forward to protect the
environment
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from disasters.
For example
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, the United Nations could make a certain regulation regarding the building of residential areas which usually demolish green spaces. Each country can implement a limitation in terms of eco-friendly equipment for industry sectors, so it can produce its product with less emission.
Lastly
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, each individual can participate in
this
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effort by implementing a minimalist lifestyle. In summary, as human needs in various aspects and mining
activities
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are harming the
environment
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, some measures need to be taken. These actions consist of governmental and individual acts. Government can set a limit and make a regulation on people's
activities
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and individuals can shift to frugal living.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. In the introduction, clearly paraphrase the question and state your main points. Each body paragraph should have a clear main idea with supporting sentences. The conclusion should summarise the main points of the essay and not introduce new information.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs together more cohesively. Avoid overusing simple connectors such as 'Firstly' and 'Lastly' without variation.
task achievement
Include specific examples to support your main points, ensuring they are directly relevant to the arguments you are making. Examples should be detailed enough to illustrate the point effectively.
task achievement
Ensure your response fully addresses all parts of the task. Both causes and solutions to environmental damage should be discussed equally. Make sure you allocate balanced treatment to both parts of the question.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing paragraphs so that each contains a clear main idea, explained and developed with reasons, results, or examples. Avoid general statements that lack specificity.
coherence cohesion
To improve clarity and readability, pay attention to grammar and punctuation. Complex sentences should be used accurately to allow for more nuanced expression of ideas.

Your opinion

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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • industrialization
  • habitat destruction
  • urbanization
  • overpopulation
  • overexploitation
  • deforestation
  • biodiversity
  • waste management
  • fossil fuels
  • air pollution
  • climate change
  • renewable energy
  • sustainable agriculture
  • recycling systems
  • international cooperation
  • conservation
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