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Band 5

Some people think that children should learn to paint or draw at school. Others believe it is just a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #paint #school #waste #time
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Education
Add an article
The education
show examples
 system
is now get
Change the verb form
is now getting
show examples
 more advance as along with essential
subjects
, other curriculum activities are
also
 included in the schools.Many people assume that scholars have to acquired
skills
 of
art
 whereas other consider
this
 a wastage of valuable time. I will discuss both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Correct your spelling
viewpoints
show examples
view points
Correct your spelling
viewpoints
show examples
 in the following paragraphs. On the one hand,despite theoretical
subjects
,paint and drawing
also
 be teach to the students so that they attain much learning practices in the learning institutes,
for example
,one can
also
 make his future in
this
 field and earn a good income too.
Besides
,it
also
polish
Change the verb form
polishes
show examples
 the child's cognitive
skills
 and
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 to accomplish other tasks too,to illustrates
this
,recent
studies
 revealed that by gaining knowledge regarding artistic skill,a learner
also
be utilise
Change the verb form
utilises
show examples
 his imagination in a better way,it is concluded that
this
 skill improves other abilities too.
On the other hand
,drawing and painting
also
 increase
burden
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the burden
show examples
 on
trainee
Add an article
the trainee
a trainee
show examples
,by site an example,a survey conducted from a school
studies
 pattern resulted that the adolescents who are doing both theory
subjects
 and
art
subjects
not
Change the verb form
do not
did not
show examples
 give their best in both fields as more energy is needed to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 these tasks.
However
, students
also
 consider
this
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 extra topic of study which
not
Add a missing verb
does not
show examples
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
 them efficient knowledge as compared to other
studies
such
 as,a child I know,who lives near to my home once said that
art
skills
 are not much necessary as other learning material,it is useless in future. According to my opinion,rather than adding
art
skills
 as equally important as other
studies
,educationalists should involve basics of painting and drawing in the syllabus of teenagers who are interested in
this
 field so that children
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
 get tensed regarding extra study material and
also
 it
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 to acquire sufficient knowledge of
art
skills
. In conclusion,it is concluded from the above discussion that
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
 system should involve artistic
skills
 in the
studies
 of the children who have
interest
Correct article usage
an interest
show examples
 in drawing and painting but not to give
equally
Change the adverb
equal
show examples
 importance to
this
 field.
Submitted by wahe8585 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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