IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Fast food industry is having negative effects on our health?Do you agree or disagree?

Due to modernisation,along with technical advancements,the
food
Use synonyms
 consumption is
also
Linking Words
 getting advance as it
also
Linking Words
 affected our health and I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
show examples
therefore
Linking Words
 I will provide reasons to justify my answer in the following paragraphs
To begin
Linking Words
 with,fast
food
Use synonyms
 has deleterious effects on health as it originated many health-related problems in an individual
such
Linking Words
 as from the
last
Linking Words
 decade it is seen that more cases of obesity, heart diseases are come across by consuming street
food
Use synonyms
.Along with
this
Linking Words
,various ingredients
are use
Change the verb form
are used
show examples
 by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 makers which cause
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
dreadful impacts on the body of a human being,to illustrates
this
Linking Words
,
recent
Correct article usage
a recent
show examples
 survey declared that
youngesters
Correct your spelling
youngsters
 who take more packaged snacks are suffering hazardous ailments
such
Linking Words
 as cancer as it is due to the rubbish meal available in cities and towns. Apart from
this
Linking Words
,fast
food
Use synonyms
 suppliers
also
Linking Words
 enhance the use and throw culture in a country,
for example
Linking Words
,more people usually taste the
food
Use synonyms
 and
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
show examples
 of it
disposed
Add a missing verb
is disposed
show examples
off
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 which is seen in various places which creates pollution.It
also
Linking Words
affect
Change the verb form
affects
show examples
 the
expensivea
Correct your spelling
expensive
 of a person,
for instance
Linking Words
,due to a
a
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
hectic schedule,most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
employers
Add an article
the employers
show examples
 buy their meals from restaurants which seems to be much costlier than homemade
food
Use synonyms
 and waste a valuable amount of their income on fast
food
Use synonyms
. It is concluded that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
one should consume
food
Use synonyms
 from
Use synonyms
food
Correct article usage
the food
show examples
 industry but at small intervals so that it does not have a major impact on an individual's body as it causes different kinds of disorders in human beings.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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