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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that men and women have different qualities. Therefore, some certain jobs are suitable for men and some jobs are suitable for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #men #women #qualities #jobs
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It is a common belief that both genders are not the same capabilities and
therefore
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 have appropriate jobs which are suitable for them. From my perspective, I totally disagree with
this
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 statement for several reasons. The main reason why I believe is that,
although
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 the qualities of these sexes are not similar about their strengths and weakness, nowadays people focus more on education than their physical. By way of illustration, in the office, staff who have good educational backgrounds and experiences can be a better position than others.
Therefore
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,
this
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 career does not depend on their physical, it is based on people’s effort and knowledge.
Men
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 as well as
women
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,
as a result
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, can work well thanks to accessing the same educational opportunity. Another reason why I hold
this
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 view is because of social bias, people think
men
Use synonyms
 make a house,
women
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 make a home. It meant that males had to make money. Females must stay at home to bring up children. The Female’s role,
therefore
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, was regelated in the past society. Nowadays, there is an eligaterian society.
Therefore
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, both genders are equal roles in every area except in the army. They can even exchange their position. In family husband,
for instance
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, can cook a meal for the family and
wife
Correct article usage
the wife
show examples
 can earn
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
money well.
Therefore
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,
women
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 and
men
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 can support each other thereby reducing the certain burden on each gender In conclusion, I strongly believe that
men
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 and
women
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 can do almost every job due to their equal quality.
Submitted by hoangmy260893 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender roles
  • inherent qualities
  • social dynamics
  • merit-based selection
  • advancements in technology
  • levelled the playing field
  • gender stereotypes
  • equal opportunities
  • physical differences
  • workplace
  • evolving
  • traditional view
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