IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

Some people say that economic growth is the only way to end hunger and poverty, while others say that economic growth is damaging the environment so it must be stopped. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #growth #hunger #poverty #environment
Countries around the world rely on economic
growth
 as it plays an integral part in its
growth
. While few individuals have arguably put forward the statement that economic broadening is the only solution to put a halt to hunger and penury.
Although
, another group suggest that
this
growth
 will have a negative impact on the environment. The following essay will decipher both the viewpoints of
this
 argument and outline my opinion. On one hand, A country's gross domestic product (GDP), since it is linked with the economic
wideninig
Correct your spelling
widening
, if improved, can lead to
decline
Add an article
a decline
show examples
 in famine and poverty.
Although
 a lot of factors contribute to
this
 development
for example
, if a person gets
quality
Add an article
a quality
show examples
 education,
this
 will align to the
self development
Add a hyphen
self-development
show examples
 of that individual as well as contributes to the economy by creating value through productivity like
manufacture
Replace the word
manufacturing
show examples
 goods, services, etc. As a result of
this
Add a comma
,this
show examples
 it will lead to a better standard of living for an individual and increased purchasing power which in turn saves he/
she
Correct pronoun usage
her
show examples
 from sufferings like poverty. Provided that the employment
growth
 can be accelerated and
this
in turn
Add the comma(s)
, in turn,
show examples
 safeguards people from not being able to meet their basic needs.
Submitted by samson on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: