Computers are now the basis of the modern world. They should therefore be introduced into classrooms, and their programs used for direct teaching purposes. However, dependence on computers in teaching may carry a certain degree of risk to students. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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In
this
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contemporary
world
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,world

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase In this contemporary world. Consider adding a comma.

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computer
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has become more essential in teaching.While
computer
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programs are used in the classrooms by the teachers , the dependent circumstances on teaching
has
Change the verb form
have

The singular verb has does not appear to agree with the plural subject circumstances. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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obtained some risk associated with the
students
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

learning. In
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay, I will examine
the
Remove the article
apply

It is unlikely that your sentence needs the article the before both. Consider deleting the article.

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both sides and give
and
Correct your spelling
an

The word and doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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opinion. To embark with, learning through
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

computer stored
Add a hyphen
computer-stored

It appears that computer stored is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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applications in the classroom as well as individual learning by the
students
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are positively impacted in many aspects in understanding their concepts more clearly.
That is
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to say,
students
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

envision themselves by visualizing the animations that have been installed with the program,
also
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

they grasp the subjects relatively better rather
taught
Change preposition
than taught

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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by some inefficient teachers.
In addition
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
students
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

time
also
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has been consumed in terms of devoiding copying notes on each
subjects
Change to a singular noun
subject

The singular quantifier each is followed by the plural noun subjects. Consider changing the noun to the singular or using a different quantifier.

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from the classroom.
For example
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,If the pupils are provided with personal computers
on
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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learning,
there
Replace the word
their

The word there may be used incorrectly. Review the following notes to determine the appropriate usage for your context.

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wont
Add an apostrophe
won't

Did you mean won’t?

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be any chances
on
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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taking hints during the learning hours as they would be getting soft copies of their notes.
However
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,In spite of gaining knowledge and understanding from system storage ,the graduates
has
Change the verb form
have

The singular verb has does not appear to agree with the plural subject graduates. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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fewer opportunities to interact with tutors while obtaining lessons.
Therefore
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,learners are less communicated with mentors that would lead to inefficient verbal skills and personality development.
Besides
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

kind of teaching will ruin the reading habits of every
scholars
Change to a singular noun
scholar

The singular quantifier every is followed by the plural noun scholars. Consider changing the noun to the singular or using a different quantifier.

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,so that could negatively pose their thinking ability.
For instance
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,many
number
Change to a plural noun
numbers

The singular countable noun number follows the quantifier many, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.

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of
reasearch
Correct your spelling
research

The word reasearch is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

scholars or scientist has progressed in their professional work only with the ability
of reading
Replace the preposition
to read

It appears that you have used the preposition of before the verb reading in this sentence. Consider using the to-infinitive form of the verb.

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books and
reserach
Correct your spelling
research

The word reserach is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

articles.
Thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,certain risks are associated
in
Change preposition
with

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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providing prerecorded sessions. In conclusion,though recorded information
are
Change the verb form
is

The plural verb are does not appear to agree with the singular subject recorded information. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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beneficial to some extent for direct teaching aspects;
however
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, unless various themes are taught by the mentors
at
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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classrooms ,there won’t be much development in
thoughts
Correct article usage
the thoughts

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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and profession of those candidates.
Hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
to
Change preposition
from

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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my perspective
instead
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

of
computer
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

learning, direct guidance by the lecturers are more advantageous.

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