many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time and how health problems as a result why do so many working people not get enough exercise? what can be done about this problem?

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In the 21st
century
Add a comma
,century

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase In the 21st century. Consider adding a comma.

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people
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are
more busy
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busier

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to make
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making

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money and they don't have any time to do physical activity.
Consequently
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,
this
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leads to
an
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apply

The indefinite article an may not be required with the plural noun changes in this sentence. Consider removing the article, or changing the noun to singular.

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enormous unhealthy changes in our lifestyle. in
this
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essay, I will explain the various consequences in regards
with
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to

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the lack of physical
exercise
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and suggestions related to the problem.
To begin
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with, industrialisation brings enormous changes in the
life
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of
people
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drastically.
in addition
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to
this
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, it is evident that the
new
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newly

It appears that the adjective new is attempting to modify the adjective rapid. Consider replacing it with an adverb.

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rapid development introduced by the standard of
life
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is not satisfactory to meet the requirements for
healthy
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a healthy

The noun phrase healthy life seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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life
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. As the reason,
people
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work
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hard for getting more money from their
work
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in order to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil

The spelling of fulfill is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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their needs. admittedly, while meeting the task of their job, they are no longer get substantial time for physical activities. Apparently, more
work
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means more stress that makes an imbalance with their professional and personal
life
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.
as a result
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, many employees now facing
healthy
Replace the word
health

The word healthy doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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problems like high blood pressure, cholesterol and diabetics in spite of rapid growth in
the
Correct article usage
apply

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modern medicines. to illustrate
this
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, in 2018 Government of India conducted a health survey among professionals in which 75% of the research samples indicates
lack
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a lack

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of
exercise
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and lifestyle diseases due to the high volume of
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Correct your spelling
workload
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Correct your spelling
workload

The word work load seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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work load
Correct your spelling
workload
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. It is undoubtedly
priven
Correct your spelling
proven

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that human beings need proper physical and mental
exercise
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for leading a healthy
life
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.
firstly
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, everyone should hold
a
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apply

The indefinite article, a, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun planning in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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proper planning for their daily
life
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and
to
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apply

The word to is usually unnecessary after the modal verb should. Consider removing it.

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spend at least half an hour
for
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on

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any physical activities like yoga, cardio or meditation.
secondly
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, industries and
multi millionaire
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multi-millionaire

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companies do not provide adequate breaks in between the
work
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schedule that
also
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

leads to
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply

The indefinite article a may not be required with the plural noun hours in this sentence. Consider removing the article, or changing the noun to singular.

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stressful working hours. it points out that the employees desperately required proper time scheduled for their
work
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and
exercise
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.
thirdly
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, Government and welfare authorities should educate
people
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for
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about

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the importance of healthy
life
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since it is more beneficial for youngsters.
for example
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, due to
new
Correct article usage
the new

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working policy of
Indian
Correct article usage
the Indian

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government, 60% of technical companies implemented weekly yoga and meditation
practice
Fix the agreement mistake
practices

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among their workers to reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply

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stress and mental illness. In conclusion,
world
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the world

The noun phrase world seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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is developing day by day but these changes cannot replace the value of human
life
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. so we should respect our body, do
exercise
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regularly and make sure that health is wealth which is not replaceable.

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Time constraints
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Passive leisure activities
  • Workplace wellness programs
  • Active commuting
  • Subsidized
  • Public awareness
  • Health benefits
  • Incentivizing
  • Accessible public spaces
What to do next:
Look at other essays: