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Some people fail in school, but end up being successful in life. Why do you think that is the case? What is, in your opinion, the most important thing to succeed in life?

#people #school #life #case
From several
generations
Add a comma
generations,
show examples
 there is a portion of
people
 that was not successful at
school
, that still managed to reach good aims in
life
.
While
school
 gives you initial instruments to be ready for real
life
, more depends on your mentality and your desire to arrive at high levels.
Firstly
, I think that
school
 is an essential institute to give the right education and to teach the essential values of
life
 to young boys and girls. Without
school’s
Change noun form
school
show examples
 education, many
people
 would lose
them-selves
Correct your spelling
themselves
show examples
 as they would not be able to communicate, interact and establish relations with others.
However
, the success of a person does not depend only on how well he did at
school
. Many
people
 are not suitable
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
school
’s environment, but they have hidden skills and qualities that come out later in
life
.
Moreover
, the working environment is completely different from the educational one, as you do not learn to work at
school
, but you only open your mind. Based on the previous considerations, one of the most important factors to succeed in
life
 is surely education, but only if it is accompanied by
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 right mentality and a great want to achieve your personal dreams. These three ingredients are indispensable to each other.
To conclude
, I think that
people
 who are very good at
school
 do not always succeed in
life
 because the educational system prepares you under a
theorical
Correct your spelling
theoretical
 aspect.
However
, in real
life
, everyone needs to be very practical to leave other
people
 behind.
Submitted by silvestriandrea.it on

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Task Achievement
Expanding on specific examples that illustrate individuals who were not successful in school but became successful in life would enhance the task response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Working on varied sentence structures and transitions between paragraphs could enhance readability and cohesion.
Language
Ensure consistent use of tenses and correct minor grammatical errors to improve overall clarity.
Task Achievement
You provided a well-reasoned explanation on the difference between school success and life success, reflecting a good understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure of the essay, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, effectively supports your argument.
Task Achievement
Your essay conveys a clear and comprehensive perspective on the importance of education, mentality, and desire to succeed, addressing the task's requirements.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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