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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people fail in school, but end up being successful in life. Why do you think that is the case? What is, in your opinion, the most important thing to succeed in life?

#people #school #life #case
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From several
generations
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generations,
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 there is a portion of
people
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 that was not successful at
school
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, that still managed to reach good aims in
life
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.
While
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school
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 gives you initial instruments to be ready for real
life
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, more depends on your mentality and your desire to arrive at high levels.
Firstly
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, I think that
school
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 is an essential institute to give the right education and to teach the essential values of
life
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 to young boys and girls. Without
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school’s
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school
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 education, many
people
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 would lose
them-selves
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themselves
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 as they would not be able to communicate, interact and establish relations with others.
However
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, the success of a person does not depend only on how well he did at
school
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. Many
people
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 are not suitable
with
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for
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 the
school
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’s environment, but they have hidden skills and qualities that come out later in
life
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.
Moreover
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, the working environment is completely different from the educational one, as you do not learn to work at
school
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, but you only open your mind. Based on the previous considerations, one of the most important factors to succeed in
life
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 is surely education, but only if it is accompanied by
a
Correct article usage
the
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 right mentality and a great want to achieve your personal dreams. These three ingredients are indispensable to each other.
To conclude
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, I think that
people
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 who are very good at
school
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 do not always succeed in
life
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 because the educational system prepares you under a
theorical
Correct your spelling
theoretical
 aspect.
However
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, in real
life
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, everyone needs to be very practical to leave other
people
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 behind.
Submitted by silvestriandrea.it on

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Task Achievement
Expanding on specific examples that illustrate individuals who were not successful in school but became successful in life would enhance the task response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Working on varied sentence structures and transitions between paragraphs could enhance readability and cohesion.
Language
Ensure consistent use of tenses and correct minor grammatical errors to improve overall clarity.
Task Achievement
You provided a well-reasoned explanation on the difference between school success and life success, reflecting a good understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure of the essay, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, effectively supports your argument.
Task Achievement
Your essay conveys a clear and comprehensive perspective on the importance of education, mentality, and desire to succeed, addressing the task's requirements.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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