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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time and how health problems as a result why do so many working people not get enough exercise? what can be done about this problem?

#people #exercise #time #health
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In the 21st
century
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,century
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 are after
money
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 vigorously and being rich is
matter
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a matter
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 of
surivival
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survival
 and
prestigious
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prestige
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. The flip side of the issue is that they don't have any
time
Use synonyms
 to do physical activity.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 leads to
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
enormous unhealthy
changes
Use synonyms
 in our lifestyle. in
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will explain the various consequences in regards
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the lack of physical
exercise
Use synonyms
 and suggestions related to the problem.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, industrialisation brings enormous
changes
Use synonyms
 in the
life
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 drastically.
in addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, it is evident that the
new
Change the adjective
newly
show examples
 rapid development introduced by the standard of
life
Use synonyms
 is not satisfactory to meet the requirements for
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
life
Use synonyms
. As the reason,
people
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 hard for getting more
money
Use synonyms
 from their
work
Use synonyms
 in order to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 their needs. admittedly, while meeting the task of their job, they are no longer get substantial
time
Use synonyms
 for physical activities. Apparently, more
work
Use synonyms
 means more stress that makes an imbalance with their professional and personal
life
Use synonyms
.
as a result
Linking Words
, many employees now facing
healthy
Replace the word
health
show examples
 problems like high blood pressure, cholesterol and diabetics in spite of In the
21st century
Add a hyphen
21st-century
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 are after
money
Use synonyms
 vigorously and being rich is
matter
Add an article
a matter
show examples
 of
surivival
Correct your spelling
survival
 and prestigious in the society. The flip side of the issue is that they don't have any
time
Use synonyms
 to do physical activity.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 leads to
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
enormous unhealthy
changes
Use synonyms
 in our lifestyle. in
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will explain the various consequences in regards
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the lack of physical
exercise
Use synonyms
 and suggestions related to the problem.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, industrialisation brings enormous
changes
Use synonyms
 in the
life
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 drastically.
in addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, it is evident that the
new
Change the adjective
newly
show examples
 rapid development introduced by the standard of
life
Use synonyms
 is not satisfactory to meet the requirements for
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
life
Use synonyms
. As the reason,
people
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 hard for getting more
money
Use synonyms
 from their
work
Use synonyms
 in order to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 their needs. admittedly, while meeting the task of their job, they are no longer get substantial
time
Use synonyms
 for physical activities. Apparently, more
work
Use synonyms
 means more stress that makes an imbalance with their professional and personal
life
Use synonyms
.
as a result
Linking Words
, many employees now facing
healthy
Replace the word
health
show examples
 problems like high blood pressure, cholesterol and diabetics in spite of rapid growth in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern medicines. to illustrate
this
Linking Words
, in 2018 Government of India conducted a health survey among professionals in which 75% of the research samples indicates
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of
exercise
Use synonyms
 and lifestyle diseases due to the high volume of
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
workload
show examples
work load
Correct your spelling
workload
show examples
. It is undoubtedly proven that human beings need proper physical and mental
exercise
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 for leading a fit
life
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.
firstly
Linking Words
, everyone should acquire
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
proper planning for their daily
life
Use synonyms
 and should spend at least half an hour
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 any physical activities like yoga, cardio or meditation.
secondly
Linking Words
, industries and
multi national
Correct your spelling
multinational
show examples
 companies do not provide adequate breaks in between the
work
Use synonyms
 schedule that
also
Linking Words
 leads to
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
stressful working hours.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it points out that the employees desperately required proper
time
Use synonyms
 scheduled for their
work
Use synonyms
 and
exercise
Use synonyms
.
thirdly
Linking Words
, Government and welfare authorities should educate
people
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
about
show examples
 the importance of healthy
life
Use synonyms
 since it is more beneficial for youngsters.
for example
Linking Words
, due to
new
Correct article usage
the new
show examples
 working policy of
Indian
Correct article usage
the Indian
show examples
 government, 60% of technical companies implemented weekly yoga and meditation
practice
Fix the agreement mistake
practices
show examples
 among their workers to reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
stress and mental illness. In conclusion,
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
 is developing day by day but these
changes
Use synonyms
 cannot replace the value of human
life
Use synonyms
. whereas we
Correct your spelling
are
show examples
arr
Correct your spelling
are
show examples
 proud of our professional career, being mental and physical fitness is
also
Linking Words
 vital to lmotogate the imminent
helth
Correct your spelling
health
 related issues. One should respect his body so as, do
exercise
Use synonyms
 regularly and make sure that health is wealth which is not replaceable.
Submitted by sooryag03 on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Time constraints
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Passive leisure activities
  • Workplace wellness programs
  • Active commuting
  • Subsidized
  • Public awareness
  • Health benefits
  • Incentivizing
  • Accessible public spaces
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