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Band 5

Wild animals have no place in the 21st century and protection of wild animal is waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#animals #place #st #century #protection #waste #resources
Although
 there are
myriad
Correct article usage
a myriad
show examples
 of certain
species
 that are about to extinct, it has been believed that it is not needed to care about it and waste resources in their preservation.
However
, I completely refute the argument, as, if the wildlife is in danger,
then
 it might have serious
repurcussions
Correct your spelling
repercussions
 on mankind eventually.
To begin
 with, the failure in
protection
Add an article
the protection
show examples
 of endangered animals will simply result in human defeat to preserve the ecosystem. Taking an example of snakes, it's a fact that they are termed as farmer's
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
 because of
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 critical role they play in making farmlands
furtile
Correct your spelling
futile
fertile
, if these animals are completely extinct,
then
 the subsequent generations need to put explicit efforts in order to replace implicit duties of
such
 animals. Needless to say,
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 highly important to save wildlife.
Furthermore
, the continued
occurance
Correct your spelling
occurrence
 of
such
 events in which certain
species
 are getting extinct day-by-day might result in even more detrimental effects on
entire
Add an article
the entire
an entire
show examples
 ecosystem. According to environmental studies, everyone including mammals are an integral part of
Correct article usage
the food-chain
show examples
food-chain
Correct your spelling
food chain
show examples
that is
 the
dependancy
Correct your spelling
dependency
dependence
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 one
species
 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
another for their nourishment. The loss of any participant in it will certainly cause the breakage.
For instance
, when the pollinators
are completely vanished
Change to the active voice
completely vanish
have completely vanished
show examples
, the plants would not be able to produce fruits and seeds on which mankind have great
dependancy
Correct your spelling
dependency
 for their habitat. The lesser the plant seeds generated, the lesser germination of new vegetation and
their
Replace the word
they're
they are
show examples
yeild
Correct your spelling
yield
years
yields
.
Consequently
, an important survival
factors
Correct the article-noun agreement
factor
show examples
 of mankind is completely at risk. To wind up, the resources used in the protection of endangered
species
 should be seen
an
Change preposition
as an
show examples
 important investment since
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 it is bound to provide considerable returns irrespective of the era.
Submitted by mmritesh1 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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