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Band 5.5

A successful person is one who has earned a lot of money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#person #money
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The amount of
money
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 a
person
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 has earned is often used as a viable parameter to measure
success
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. Being rich might define
success
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 in materialistic terms
nevertheless
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, there are numerous other crucial variables that can be used to gauge a
person
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's accomplishments in life. The following paragraphs will shed light on these.
To begin
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 with, social connectivity can be considered an important facet. It is common knowledge that
money
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 cannot buy happiness and human beings are social animals. A
person
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 might have ample
money
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 but without developing
adequate
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an adequate
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 social connection with family or friends or society in general, the
person
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 will always end up feeling lonely.
This
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 feeling of loneliness will cause a negative effect on the general well-being of the
person
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 and life satisfaction. General well-being and life satisfaction attained
as a result
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 of social support is
thus
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, a more prominent measure of
success
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 because it has
deeper
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a deeper
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 psychological impact.
Additionally
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, another important factor can be the extent to which a
person
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 is satisfied with his or her career path or the way the
money
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 is earned.
Firstly
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, earning a lot of
money
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 at the expense of choosing a career that one loathes can be detrimental for again
Correct your spelling
overall
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over all
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overall
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 well-being.
Secondly
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, it is essential to develop skills, talents and moral values as compared to a high salary.
For example
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, there are
plethora
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a plethora
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 of careers that have high revenues but are not considered to contribute to society
such
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 as
drugs
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the drugs
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 mafia or other illegal occupations. These occupations are not considered to be ethical or even successful despite
of
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apply
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huge revenues.
Therefore
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, we can easily say that high salary, profits or revenues simply does not define
success
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. In conclusion,
money
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 and material things
be
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are
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 one part of
success
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 but
non material
Add a hyphen
non-material
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 things like relationships and
self-fulfillment
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self-fulfilment
show examples
 can be more eminent.
Submitted by sehar.sohail2 on

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Your opinion

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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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