Wild animals have no place in the 21st century and protection of wild animal is waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#animals #place #st #century #protection #waste #resources

This

is currently a contentious argument over whether the savage animals are dispensable in actual life

in addition

misuse

Correct article usage

the misuse

show examples

of assets to protect them. I totally disagree with

this

opinion because

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

preserved fauna is important for human beings,

thus

all investment and safety in

this

topic generates benefits for individuals.

Firstly

, animal species are crucial for the ecosystem

while

humans need a healthier one for existence in

Correct article usage

the

show examples

long term. Animal activities contribute to populating more plantations and diversity in biology which food, water, raw material, and even medicine.

For instance

, a bird in Brazil could carry the seed of a native tree from one region to another.

This

action helps the development of native trees which could reduce the high impact caused by the industrial revolution.

Secondly

, has brought many financial advantages

as well as

considered a part of natural life. Nowadays, ecotourism is becoming increasingly demanded by people who are concerned about nature and are interested in connecting experiences. As

result

Correct article usage

a result

show examples

, more

employments

Fix the agreement mistake

employment

show examples

were created and the economic impact was positive in various countries around the world,

such

as Africa where tourists are attracted by the unique fauna and flora. On top of that, wild animals can represent sacred symbols, like the

Indians

Replace the word

Indian

show examples

elephants who are considered religious beliefs and,

due to

this

, it

considers

Wrong verb form

is considered

show examples

a severe crime to kill them in

this

country. In conclusion, I strongly disagree

with

Change preposition

that

show examples

spending money

with

Change preposition

show examples

wild animals is a misuse practice, because they do not have more place in the current world. Spending resources on the protection of wild creatures is a necessary method for

preserve

Change the verb form

preserving

show examples

human life,

thus

it seems that the government and industries should try to establish more programs that are focused on

this

topic.

Submitted by debi_quistina on Sat Jul 31 2021

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coherence cohesion

Improve the logical structure of the essay to ensure a more coherent flow of ideas.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that the introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay and provide a clear response to the question.

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Include more specific examples and details to fully support the main points of the argument.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

290 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Traffic congestion is becoming problomatic inmajor cities what solutions can be suggest to help to solve the problem

Some people think increasing the cost of fuel is the best way to solve global environmental problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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