IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

In recent years, the family structure has changed, as well as family roles. What are the changes occurring? Do you think these changes are positive or negative?

#years #structure #roles #changes
It has been suggested that the topic for discussion, recently, the roles, obligations, structure have altered. I desire to discuss several possible changes and positive points.
To begin
 with, as a matter of fact, in
this
 day and age the family structure and role can be differed by people than in the past. I believe that there are
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
various changes.
Firstly
,
females
' number working
develop
Change the verb form
develops
show examples
 than other time. I believe that there are some linking points as a pattern, knowledge and
tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
 have been making progress,
in addition
,
females
 make an effort to utilize from their own abilities, skilling, talent and others.
In addition
, I have read that from various books and blogs educated
women
's number was less than men.
In addition
,
females
 weren't let for working by more family,
nevertheless
Add a comma
,nevertheless
show examples
this
 situation
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 been abolished than before time.
Secondly
,
women
's
right
Fix the agreement mistake
rights
show examples
 or laws have been
affirmeded
Correct your spelling
affirmed
 by more countries, both international and national organizations. In fact,
women
 and men have become the same rights.
Females
 can be selected duties, getting
educate
Replace the word
education
show examples
, salary, income and so on. Let us take a look at the positive points.
First
 of all, the outlay can be shared by the family and a man's hardships
dropp
Correct your spelling
drop
dropped
 from the top level to the down level.
Next
 a good side, more chances can be created by the family for the future, children and the others.
Finally
, people become more social and to consider to one more than in the past.
Weight
Correct your spelling
Weigh
show examples
 everything into consideration, I want
reaffirming
Change the verb form
to reaffirm
show examples
this
 altering and the roles are
seperated
Correct your spelling
separated
 by people better.
Also
,
this
 situation assists that
women
 don't depend on(from) men.
Submitted by aydin.quliyev2001 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Family structure
  • Modern family
  • Extended family
  • Nuclear family
  • Same-sex parent families
  • Breadwinner
  • Caregiving responsibilities
  • Family dynamics
  • Globalization
  • Economic shifts
  • Migration
  • Child-free lifestyles
  • Cohabitation
  • Traditional marriage
  • Perceptions
  • Homemaker
  • Communication
  • Shared activities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: