IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Do you agree that individuals are responsible for their own happiness or it depends on the factors of the person's life?

#individuals #happiness #factors #person #life
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart illustrates the outcome of a study about purchasing and drinking habits of both tea and
coffee
Use synonyms
 by inhabitants(in percentages) in five different Australian cities during the
last
Linking Words
 4 weeks. Overall, it can be seen that Melbourne accounted for the largest
proportion
Use synonyms
 of people who
prefered
Correct your spelling
prefer
 to have
coffee
Use synonyms
 and tea in cafes during the whole period, whereas Briston, as well as
Adelaid
Correct your spelling
Adelaide
 equally showed the least
proportion
Use synonyms
 of people purchasing fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
. With regard to buying fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
, during the
last
Linking Words
 28 days, Brisbane and Adelaide had the lowest
proportion
Use synonyms
pf
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
coffee
Use synonyms
 buyers at just under 35%.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the figure for purchasing fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 was highest in Sydney(around 44%) among all 5 cities. Turning to instant
coffee
Use synonyms
, Hobart ranked the
first
Linking Words
 in selling
such
Linking Words
coffee
Use synonyms
 with having almost 55%
residents
Change preposition
of residents
show examples
 buying it, whereas that of Sydney was the lowest at approximately 44%. Concerning dwellers choosing cafes to have either tea or
coffee
Use synonyms
 during the
last
Linking Words
 4 weeks, the figures for Melbourn and Hobart were the highest at around 64% and 63%, respectively.
Conversely
Linking Words
, the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of residents in Adelaide was the lowest at just below 50%
Submitted by Ashkan Mafi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: