IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

There are more new towns being built nowadays it is more important to include public parks and sports facilities than shopping centres for individual to spend their free time to .what extent do you agree or disagree?

#towns #parks #sports #facilities #centres #time
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These days, the number of newly-built cities is increasing. While some
people
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 believe that it is better to construct shopping malls for inhabitants to spend their spare time, I personally think establishing
sports
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 amenities and parks that are open to the public are of more benefits. The supporter of constructing shopping malls in cities, on the
one
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 hand, claim that it can bring comfort in residents’ lives. They insist
such
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 commercials
centres
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 provide individuals with all their needs gathered in
one
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 place ranging from food and groceries to clothes and
sports
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 equipment. Thie ease of access to all goods in
one
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 place, cause most
people
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 to find purchasing less time-consuming. By doing so,
therefore
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,
people
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 will experience a much more convenient life, whereas if they do not have
such
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 an opportunity, they will probably have to dedicate much of their time to shop in the long run. I,
on the other hand
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, believe that providing
sports
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 amenities and green spaces accessible to the public to spend their spare time, would have substantial positive impacts on dwellers’ lives.
To begin
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 with, building
such
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 parks make
people
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 more social.
That is
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 not to say that those who do not go to the park can not improve their social skills at all, but
people
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 going to the park are more likely to start to communicate with each other particularly when their children are playing together and parents are waiting for them. In doing so,
people
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 can get to know each other and expand their social network, as well as boost their communication skills. Supplementary to
this
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,
sports
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centres
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, bring
health
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 to
one
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’s life. Having
such
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 a place in a neighbourhood, there is more probability that
one
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 goes for exercising.
This
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 means that more
people
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 do
sports
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 leading to improving public
health
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 as exercising boosts mental and physical
health
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.
Therefore
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, the
health
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 status of the whole society can improve significantly. In conclusion,
although
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 construction of commercial
centres
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 for newly built cities would be beneficial for individuals in terms of facilitating shopping processes, I personally think establishing green spaces with public access and
centres
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 for physical activities is more advantageous for
people
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 as it can boost the communication skills of individuals, as well as improve public
health
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.
Submitted by Ashkan Mafi on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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