IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many societies in the world, the population is ageing rapidly and this is leading to an unsustainable increase in the cost of public healthcare. A nation’s population should pay for their healthcare provision in the future. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#societies #world #population #cost #healthcare #nation’s #provision #future
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It has been a
hotly-debated
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hotly debated
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 topic that if citizens of a country ought to be taxed for the medical
services
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 that will be faced when they will have retired. In my point of
views
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view
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, taxpayers have to be benefited whenever now or later on since they have given great contribution to
the
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apply
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society as part of their gains for working. As
healthcare
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services
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 are essential to the elderly, the
governemnt
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government
 has to subsidise
for
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apply
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it
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them
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. And where
does
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do
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 those pounds come from? Of
course
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,course
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 they are from the pockets of the individuals!
Therefore
Linking Words
, the ones who will be using the
services
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 should
had
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have
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 been charged when they were employees. To be
specifically
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specific
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, the more likely the people will be in need
for
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of
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such
Linking Words
services
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, the
much
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more
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 tax that they have to be imposed
to
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apply
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in order to balance the budgets of the government.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, it is not easy for a public sector organisation to account for the exact quantities of medical
services
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 that one will use in the future of above 20 years later.
Such
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 extrapolation requires the government to have collected
sufficient
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a sufficient
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 amount of data
of
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on
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 the citizens' general
health
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 for statistical purposes. Unfortunately, not many
health
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 authorities can have access to all the citizens'
health
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 data sets just because there are plenty of private
healthcare
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 providers who do not have the responsibility to share their patients'
health
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 information with.
Furthermore
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, it is
argueably
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arguably
arguable
 that whether the
unpriviledged
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unprivileged
privileged
 should not be required to afford as much as those wealthy
personnels
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personnel
 in the overall funding of the
healthcare
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services
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. If we look deeper,
this
Linking Words
 issue might contribute to the income inequalities as well as wealth gaps in a region, and
hence
Linking Words
 leads to unstableness and unsustainable
developemnt
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development
 of the economy. In conclusion, the foundation of a country's
healthcare
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 system matters a lot when the parliament is considering
to impose
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imposing
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 more charges to the current taxpayers for the medical
services
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 that they might be using in the future.
Submitted by harry on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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