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Band 5.5

some people think that it is necessary to travel abroad to learn about other countries but other think that it is not necessary to travel abroad because all the information can be seen on TV and internet discuss both view and give your opinion.

#people #travel #countries #information #tv #internet
It is often opined that whether visiting other
country
 gives you a better
experience
 or staying in your
country
 and gather information about any
country
 through internet or television is enough to collect knowledge. There are many views on both sides. I will discuss both the postulates along with my rationale associated with appropriate exemplification in the subsequent paragraph. At the outset , some
people
 think that physical
experience
 makes a deep as well as
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 evident impact on human's memory that lasts for a long time.
For instance
, a report published in The Times Of India
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 illustrated that 89% of
people
 who visited foreign had remembered toured
country
's culture clearer than those who gained information via networking sites.
Additionally
, most
people
also
 agreed that only visited
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the
perticular
Correct your spelling
particular
 place which is famous for their
cusions
Correct your spelling
cushions
, you can
experience
 the
exquiste
Correct your spelling
exquisite
 taste of their cultural dishes, rather than reading about them. For quintessentially, an article published in The Folk
magzine
Correct your spelling
magazine
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 stated that in 2014, 39%
Change preposition
of tourist
show examples
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 travel to the
Thiland
Correct your spelling
Thailand
 only to taste their famous dish
that is
 susi.
On the contrary
, many
people
 are in the favour of not travelling to another
country
 because nowadays travelling to foreign premises is quite
expencive
Correct your spelling
expensive
 and it is unworthy for them to travel to gain the information which is already available on
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 as well on television.
For Example
, a survey conducted by The Ministery of Foreign
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
demonstrated that 27%
traveller
Change preposition
of traveller
show examples
 quit their travelling to foreign because of high
Correct your spelling
expenses
show examples
expences
Correct your spelling
expenses
show examples
.
Furthermore
, some think that going to another continent consume lots of time which they can utilize in doing other
stuffs
Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
show examples
. To illustrate, A survey conducted by The Hindustan Times stated that 16%
natives
Change preposition
of natives
show examples
 agreed that they had saved their time by not touring and they
also
 had knowledge about others countries
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
 through networking sites.
Furthermore
, after perusal of aforementioned
point
Add a comma
,point
show examples
 it is conspicuous that for the better and evident knowledge of any
country
's culture one should visit
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
that
country
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because only reading can not give you the
exqusit
Correct your spelling
exquisite
excuse
experience
 of that particular continent which stay with you life long.
Submitted by upen.pathak8 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • immersive
  • interactions
  • virtual means
  • cultural nuances
  • language acquisition
  • problem-solving
  • adaptability
  • sustainability
  • virtual tours
  • documentaries
  • sophisticated
  • realistic representations
  • comprehensive understanding
  • financial status
  • carbon footprint
  • digital resources
What to do next:
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