IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people believe that it is a good idea to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #idea #information #research #business #world
Many
people
 think that it is
benificial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 to provide more
information
 advanced and scientific investigation, profession and educational world. Some believe that some data should not be shared with everyone because that might be confidential. I will look at
the
Remove the article
apply
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both
side
Fix the agreement mistake
sides
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 and give my opinion. At
first
, we can see there has been
many
Replace the quantifier
much
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 research
are
Change the verb form
is
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 done
in
Change preposition
on
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everyday
Correct article usage
an everyday
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 basis. Many
people
 want to
kept
Change the form of the verb
keep
show examples
 the facts share
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the world because they believe when data is provided to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
everyone that will help to
person
Replace the word
personal
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 growth of the individual.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 If we provide all the necessary resources and
information
 to the student that makes
student
Correct article usage
the student
show examples
 knowledgeable and bright. On the other gaining much more
information
also
help
Change the verb form
helps
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 to increased
business like
Add a hyphen
business-like
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, if
person
Add an article
a person
the person
show examples
have
Change the verb form
has
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 all the required knowledge about the fact, that helps him/her perform well
then
 the
person
 who have lack of knowledge and skills.
Secondly
,lot of
person
Change to a plural noun
people
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 believe that details should be not shared freely because they are so much important and valuable at may be misused if it spread everywhere,
such
 as we can see nowadays media have
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
 impact towards the young
people
 and sometimes it make very important reacher and discovery viral among the
people
 view some
information
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 to be private like reacher about the medicine, future political plan of the country that helps to grow
nation
Add an article
a nation
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. In conclusion, every individual
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
different
Add an article
a different
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 opinion they both are right in their own way. I think we have to do some reacher before spreading any
information
 either it is necessary to know or not. If that
inofrmation
Correct your spelling
information
 helps in education and personal growth that have to
Add a missing verb
be shared
show examples
shared
Change the form of the verb
share
show examples
.
However
, if providing
information
Add an article
the information
show examples
 is harmful that should be kept private.
Submitted by prakritikadel8 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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