Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #aim #university #education #graduates #jobs #individuals #society

Some individuals are of the opinion that college education aims to assist graduates with satisfactory jobs while others opined that higher institution has is more beneficial for both the scholars and society. I agree that college studies

has

Change the verb form

have

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more effect on the students and environment. On the one hand,

university

Correct article usage

a university

show examples

degree impacts students and prepares them for their future.

This

gives them insight

Change preposition

into

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what is ahead of them after graduation.

Furthermore

, the higher institution is a preparatory ground for different departments,

which

Change preposition

in which

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persons learn and develop themselves in the different fields they want to study,

such

as medicine, engineering, law, etc.

For instance

, engineering students in Niger Delta University are taken to workshops all through their study years to enable them

develop

Add the particle

to develop

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their practical skills in the engineering department.

As a result

, these scholars when they graduate are good with technical know-how and as

such

get satisfactory employment.

On the other hand

college

Add an article

a college

show examples

education is vital not just for the individual alone but

also

for the society at large.

Moreover

, when a person is satisfied with his or her job the environment is sane. The reason is that schools improve

Remove the article

apply

show examples

society by training people as responsible adults.

For instance

, in my current place of employment, a humanitarian lawyer goes around the community helping the less privileged that are being oppressed by others to fight for their properties without charges and

also

paying tuition fees for those who cannot

afford

Correct pronoun usage

themafford

show examples

As a result

, she is giving back to the environment and making it a better place to live in. In conclusion,

although

higher educational background helps with

well paid

Add a hyphen

well-paid

show examples

jobs for graduates, I believe that it is more beneficial and impactful both on the student and the world.

Submitted by idoghojennifer on Mon Aug 02 2021

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

289 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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