Some people think competitions inside and outside of school is necessary for children to prepare for their future. Others think its bad. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

A competitive environment among children always brings the best out of them. Some people believe that competitions in or out of the school premises will strengthen them in all perspectives and help in their future endeavours,

others

Correct word choice

while others

show examples

think that as a negative aspect. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will discuss both views and provide my opinion to support the former group with necessary examples. The supporters who think that competition would lead to negative impacts have two important reasons to prove it. First of all, they guess that it increases the

rivalry

Use synonyms

between students and ruins their beautiful relationship. It's a proven fact that the majority of schools are observed with separate juvenile groups

Punctuation problem

;

show examples

for instance

Linking Words

, cricket

team

Use synonyms

players form independent groups to win their respective games. Adding to

this

Linking Words

, in the urge

of passing

Change preposition

to pass

show examples

the exam with flying colours, students may

approach

Verb problem

resort to

show examples

some cheating methods like copying in exams. A classic example of the recent incident in Hyderabad city board exams is proof, where most of the students copied

while

Linking Words

writing the board exams as they were conducted online. Having said that, the supporters

Linking Words

Punctuation problem

, on

show examples

the other hand, including me, believe that competition brings out the best in children. If there is no healthy

rivalry

Use synonyms

between

kids

Punctuation problem

kids,

show examples

it leads to laziness as they never take anything

serious

Replace the word

seriously

show examples

to achieve goals. As per the board of paediatrics, a brainchild needs continuous

trigger

Fix the agreement mistake

triggers

show examples

with different activities

Linking Words

otherwise

Punctuation problem

, otherwise

show examples

leads

Correct pronoun usage

it leads

show examples

to dullness.

Apart from

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, a healthy

rivalry

Use synonyms

among juveniles builds relationships and

team

Use synonyms

managing

Replace the word

management

show examples

capabilities, which are essential for future prospects. An adult who understands the dynamics of their

team

Use synonyms

and the opponent

team

Use synonyms

will be able to

crack

Verb problem

achieve

show examples

positive results

Punctuation problem

. For

show examples

for example

Linking Words

, Mahendra Singh Dhoni, the captain of the Indian cricket

Use synonyms

team

Punctuation problem

team,

show examples

was always winning all games because of the competitive spirit he had, even though there

Wrong verb form

was

show examples

a strong opponent. In conclusion,

while

Linking Words

some people believe that the competitiveness among children inside or outside the school premises is very much required to be ready for the future, others think that it causes negative results. In my opinion, I strongly believe that a healthy

rivalry

Use synonyms

to be established between people, which pushes them beyond boundaries to achieve greater things in life.

eshwar10882

Aug 3, 2021

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structure

Plan your essay with a clear intro, two body paragraphs and a conclusion.

coherence

In the introduction, state your view and what you will discuss.

grammar

Keep sentences short and fix big grammar errors to avoid run-on sentences.

examples

Use examples that are easy to see in real life and explain how they prove your point.

cohesion

Use linking words to connect ideas in a smooth way.

task response

The essay shows both sides and has a clear view.

examples

There are concrete examples used to support points.

coherence

Your length is good; you present many ideas.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

369 words

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Some people think competitions inside and outside of school is necessary for children to prepare for their future. Others think its bad. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam’’ How true do you think this statement is? What are measures can the government take to discourage people from using their cars?

In many countries, prison is the most common solution to the problem of crime. However, a more effective way is to provide people with better education so that they cannot become criminals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

With a great variety of social networking websites, people often add complete strangers to their lists. Do you think that this tendency helps people to find new friends or it's just a mean to increase their self-esteem. Justify your opinion with relevant examples.

In some countries, only few young people go to classical music concerts or or play classical music. Why? Should young people be encouraged to attend and learn more?