IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people say that too much attention and too many resources are given in the protection of wild animals and birds. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #attention #resources #protection #animals #birds
When it comes to the issue of the significance of protecting wildlife, some people argue that human
beings
 have allocated too many resources to wild
animals
, but I approve of the idea that it may never be exaggerated to focus on protecting wildlife. Admittedly, human
beings
 have no fewer problems than
animals
 do. Even in the current era, many people in impoverished areas still suffer diseases and wars and their security cannot be guaranteed either. If governments could transfer their attention from
animals
 to their citizens, more or less, some civilians could live a better life.
Nevertheless
, the fact that human
beings
 need assistance is not assuming that
animals
 could be neglected.
To begin
 with, many
animals
 are in danger of extinction. Due to deforestation and pollution caused by human behaviour, some
species
 of
animals
 have already lost their habitats and may be extinct in the future. What is worse, once
animals
 no longer exist, it is impossible for human
beings
 to maintain those
species
 anymore.
Thus
, in order to avoid
such
 an irreversible tendency,
animals
 deserve attention and budgets from mankind.
In addition
, human
beings
 need to protect
animals
 for a healthy ecosystem. It is acknowledged that all kinds of
animals
 play different roles in the biological chain. If a kind of animal disappeared, the number of its natural enemies would correspondingly rise while the number of predators to it would dramatically drop, which might destroy the ecological balance and influence other
species
 on the earth including human
beings
.
Thus
, in order to keep the balance of nature, human
beings
 need to spend a lot of resources on
animals
. In sum, considering that many
species
 may be extinct and the ecosystem will
also
 suffer, it may be incorrect to claim that human
beings
 focus too much on
animals
 and waste money on them currently.
Submitted by 20429517 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecological balance
  • species extinction
  • wildlife conservation
  • sustainable development
  • ecosystem services
  • habitat destruction
  • endangered species
  • conservation efforts
  • natural heritage
  • human encroachment
  • poaching
  • genetic diversity
  • climate change
  • environmental stewardship
  • protection measures
  • wildlife sanctuary
  • biological significance
  • conservation biology
  • environmental advocacy
What to do next:
Look at other essays: