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Band 5

The Internet has caused people to be isolated from their real lives. Do you agree or disagree?

#internet #people #lives
The
internet
,
Correct your spelling
now days
nowdays
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
,
are
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is
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 teaching the whole aspects of our
live
Replace the word
life
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 where most of our
time
spent
Add a missing verb
is spent
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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front of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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computer screens. I strongly agree
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
people
 today completely have no interaction with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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real
Add a hyphen
real-life
show examples
life
 elements. Addiction to the
internet
 is a phenomenon in
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
life
 which
resulted
Add the preposition
inresulted
fromresulted
show examples
 isolation between our society components since the human log on with various applications in their 24 hours. Generally, the endless of videos and blogs caused
people
 always in urge to seek more and stay looking in their screens without any sense of
time
,
consequently
, making
people
all
Add a hyphen
all-time
show examples
time
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
need to access the
internet
,
furthermore
, the certain way that creators designed their sites
such
 as Twitter and Facebook, is to grasp
people
 as much
time
 as possible by updating their elements every
second
.
Hence
,
people
 spent more
time
 with the
internet
 rather than being play role in a real
life
.
Moreover
,
as a result
 of the misunderstanding that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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digital friends are equivalent
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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real friends,
people
 pursing to make friendships via social media rather than going out to gatherings.
Addition
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In addition
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, easily
accessible
Replace the word
accessibility
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 for social media sites made
people
 completely hanging on
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 all
time
 which
make
Change the verb form
makes
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people
addictive
Replace the word
addicted
show examples
 and isolated,
however
, replacing interaction in the real world
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 technological interactive has a long-term side effect In conclusion,
people
 in our modern
life
 become isolated
as a result
 of the
internet
 obsession and the exchange of
a real friendships
Correct the article-noun agreement
real friendships
a real friendship
show examples
thus
, the interactions between
people
 became far fewer before the advent of the
internet
Submitted by t.g.alanazi on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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