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Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Too much money has been spent on looking after and repairing old buildings. Therefore, we should knock down old buildings and build modern ones instead To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#money #buildings #ones
Every year government allocate
huge
Add an article
a huge
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 amount of money
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 traditional
buildings
.
However
, some people think that these should be replaced by modern ones. In my mind, old
buildings
 depict historical significance and should not be demolished to build new
buildings
. Heritage
buildings
has
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have
show examples
 more advantages. The primary role
in
Add a missing verb
is in
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 preserving rich culture for
present
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the present
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 and future
generation
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generations
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. They not only can acquire knowledge and information of historical events
,
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apply
show examples
 but
also
 can get a
first hand
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first-hand
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 experience
instead
 of just reading in history books. The Other married
of
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for
show examples
a maintaining old
Correct the article-noun agreement
maintaining old buildings
a maintaining old building
show examples
buildings
 is that it enhances the overall revenue of a government. To clarify,
Change the article
a
the
show examples
number of
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
tourists visit these places from all around the world, provides huge profit in form of tickets and
also
 boost
employment
Correct article usage
the employment
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 sector.
Although
 historical places
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
 immense benefits, but
also
 a lot of expense it requires to maintain, so should be replaced by
modern
Add an article
a modern
show examples
 structure that can help to save money. New
buildings
 can
also
 be made according to
Add an article
the need
show examples
need
Fix the agreement mistake
needs
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 of
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
 society that provides more benefits.
Nevertheless
,
by
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apply
show examples
demolishing the old structure to build
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
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 is not
a
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an
show examples
 accurate solution. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
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 the old
buildings
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
a great cultural values
Correct the article-noun agreement
great cultural values
a great cultural value
show examples
 and maintaining
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 at any cost will be valuable. but
new
Add an article
the new
show examples
 structure should
also
 need
to begin
 by
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 societal requirements.
Submitted by kiranjosan709 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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