Many people are working longer hours. Why is this happening? What problems can this cause to people?

#people #hours

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Many

people

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are giving their

work

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precedence over their personal

life

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: they are putting more and more hours into their job. I believe that there are two chief reasons for

this

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phenomenon and it can adversely affect these

people

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in terms of health and social relationships. The two reasons concern financial and social gains, as well as the modern lifestyle.

Firstly

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, and rather obviously, almost everyone works in order to gain money and attain better social status. As living standards rise, so do these needs, which compel them to dedicate even a larger share of their day to their professional

life

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Moreover

Linking Words

, the advent of social media has given

people

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the ability to see what their friends are doing and how they are faring.

This

Linking Words

creates tremendous pressure on us because it triggers our social instinct to emulate peers and superiors.

Secondly

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, an increasingly popular trend today is living independently,

that is

Linking Words

, more young

people

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tend to leave their

home

Fix the agreement mistake

homes

show examples

to pursue their

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

Therefore

Linking Words

work

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overshadows other aspects of their lives

Remove the comma

apply

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and claims the greatest part of their

time

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and attention.

However

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this

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level of dedication has its problems. More

time

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work

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means less

time

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for other key elements in

life

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. When

people

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let

work

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bleed into personal

life

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, they pay less attention to important relationships

such

Linking Words

parents

Change preposition

as parents

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, spouses, and other relatives.

This

Linking Words

often leads to estrangement and isolation.

Also

Linking Words

, overworked

people

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have little

time

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for rest and recreation, which renders them constantly restless and stressed. Obviously, high prestige cannot make up for the loss of health and relationships. Not only that, the resulting problems sure have detrimental impacts on the quality of

work

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itself, defeating the purpose of progressing up the career ladder. In conclusion, as we gravitate to a

life

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imbued with a desire for wealth and social status, devoting the bulk of our

time

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work

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, we risk undermining important values that make us human.

Submitted by quangnd159 on Wed Aug 04 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

320 words

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Many people are working longer hours. Why is this happening? What problems can this cause to people?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that living in a big cities is bad for people's health. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Some people think that the money used to preserve historic buildings and artefacts should came from goverment funds, while others believe that private organisations and individuals should pay for this. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many childhood diseases can now be prevented through the use of vaccines. Should parents be made by law to immunise their children against common diseases or should individuals have the right to choose not to immunise their children?

In the past, people used to travel abroad to look for many differences from their country. Nowadays, cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar. What are the reason? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?