Many people are working longer hours. Why is this happening? What problems can this cause to people?

#people #hours

Many

people

are giving their

work

precedence over their personal

life

: they are putting more and more hours into their job. I believe that there are two chief reasons for

this

phenomenon and it can adversely affect these

people

in terms of health and social relationships. The two reasons concern financial and social gains, as well as the modern lifestyle.

Firstly

, and rather obviously, almost everyone works in order to gain money and attain better social status. As living standards rise, so do these needs, which compel them to dedicate even a larger share of their day to their professional

life

Moreover

, the advent of social media has given

people

the ability to see what their friends are doing and how they are faring.

This

creates tremendous pressure on us because it triggers our social instinct to emulate peers and superiors.

Secondly

, an increasingly popular trend today is living independently,

that is

, more young

people

tend to leave their

home

Fix the agreement mistake

homes

show examples

to pursue their

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

Therefore

work

overshadows other aspects of their lives

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and claims the greatest part of their

time

and attention.

However

this

level of dedication has its problems. More

time

work

means less

time

for other key elements in

life

. When

people

let

work

bleed into personal

life

, they pay less attention to important relationships

such

parents

Change preposition

as parents

show examples

, spouses, and other relatives.

This

often leads to estrangement and isolation.

Also

, overworked

people

have little

time

for rest and recreation, which renders them constantly restless and stressed. Obviously, high prestige cannot make up for the loss of health and relationships. Not only that, the resulting problems sure have detrimental impacts on the quality of

work

itself, defeating the purpose of progressing up the career ladder. In conclusion, as we gravitate to a

life

imbued with a desire for wealth and social status, devoting the bulk of our

time

work

, we risk undermining important values that make us human.

Submitted by quangnd159 on Wed Aug 04 2021

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such as
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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

320 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people are working longer hours. Why is this happening? What problems can this cause to people?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

University only requires to apply digital media rather than continuously upgrading textbook. Agree or disagree.

In the modern times, young adults are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. Why has this change occurred? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?

Many parents today do not spend much time with their children. Why is this? Does this affect parents or children more?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In the future, students may have the choice of studying at home by using technology such as computers or television or of studying at traditional schools. Which would you prefer? Use reasons and specific details to explain your choice.