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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

With a fast pace of modern life , more and more people are turning towards fast food for theirs main meals . Do you hinh the advantages outweigh the disadvantages ?

#pace #life #people #food #meals #hinh
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People in diverse countries are rapidly changing their meal habits and being more prone to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
junk
food
 consumption
instead
 of their routine meals due to their fast pace lifestyle. Adoption of
this
 change is
definately
Correct your spelling
definitely
 inviting health issues and
thus
, I think that the
advantages
 will never outweigh its disadvantages, now or in future. Considering the
advantages
 of
these junk
Change the determiner
this junk food consumption
show examples
food
 consumption, due to lack of time and to a rapid
transofrmation
Correct your spelling
transformation
 of
lifestlye
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
, in which each individual is working hard to achieve their goals in
this
 most competitive world ever, people having less time to consume their lunch or dinner and eat more fast
foods
, which are available more conveniently than the traditional
foods
 and
also
 available at very cheaper rates.
Also
, being worked hard in the office for
full
Add an article
a full
the full
show examples
 day,
instead
 of preparing meals for the dinner,
womens
Correct your spelling
women
women's
 tends to order
food
 from
fast
Add a hyphen
fast-food
show examples
food
 chains, which is available
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
 a single click from their mobile phones, and
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 taste and servings lures the infants most.
However
,
inspite
Correct your spelling
in spite
 of having many
advantages
 as cited above, there are enormous disadvantages
persists
Correct pronoun usage
that persists
show examples
 in consuming these non-nutritious
foods
.
Firstly
, consuming these junk
foods
 on daily basis
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is a mere waste of money for paying
such
Change preposition
for such
show examples
foods
 which are unknown for
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 quality.
Secondly
, These fast meals
arre
Correct your spelling
are
 a rich source of sugar and carbohydrates, which invites
health related
Add a hyphen
health-related
show examples
 issues
such
 as obesity and diabetes.
Thirdly
, consuming these
foods
 on daily basis with
Correct your spelling
children
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
 on
dining
Add an article
the dining
a dining
show examples
 table, inculcate wrong
food
 practices in the
Correct your spelling
children's
children
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
 and
perheps
Correct your spelling
perhaps
 resulted to keep away the traditional
food
 culture away from the
Correct your spelling
children
children's
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
 and families. To conclude,
although
 there are many
varities
Correct your spelling
varieties
 of fast
foods
 available in the market to consume it very
convieniently
Correct your spelling
conveniently
convenient
,
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
 there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 no confirmation on its quality and its benefits to our health system,
thus
evenafter
Correct your spelling
even after
 having strong
advantages
, it's disadvantages outweigh the same. Which affects their lifestyle and eventually their eating habits.
Submitted by vipul_r_goswami on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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