Excessive sugar consumption causes many diseases. Some people think that it is the government responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption while others think that it is the individual’s responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. Discuss both views

In the 21st century consumption of
sugar
Add a comma
,sugar
show examples
intakes are increase extensively due to unhealthy
lifestyle
.
However
,
on
Correct your spelling
one
show examples
group
Add an article
a group
the group
show examples
of
people
ponder that it is the
responsibility
of
people
themselves to regulate
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
show examples
like diabetics , while other groups
opines
Change the verb form
opine
show examples
that
government
should initiate
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
intervention for
this
problem. In
this
essay, I will explain both views with relevant examples.
To begin
,there are many measures that can apply
society
Change preposition
to society
show examples
with the help of
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
to reduce
lifestyle
diseases like diabetics.
Firstly
, food authorities need to list out harmful preservatives and food colours among customers for understanding which one is good for their body.
Inaddition
Correct your spelling
In addition
,
this
is more accurate for
people
to analyse good products from their market.
Secondly
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
should initiate a regular community checkup for
people
through
primary
Add an article
the primary
show examples
health
center
Fix the agreement mistake
centers
show examples
.
This
will initiate
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
awareness among
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
related to high blood
sugar
.
On the other hand
, educating parents or youngsters
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
a huge difference in their outlook of
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
lifestyle
. To illustrate
this
, in Japan every council provides free monthly
Add a hyphen
check-up
show examples
check
Fix the agreement mistake
checks
show examples
up for local
people
and if they have any
lifestyle
disease
government
will provide them
nutrition
Change preposition
with nutrition
show examples
experts for their
betterments
Fix the agreement mistake
betterment
show examples
. Apparently, it's our
responsibility
to take care of our own health because mental preparation is the most important thing for getting
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
body. Admittedly, reducing food consumption helps for weight loss and it
regulate
Change the verb form
regulates
show examples
sugar
level in our blood cells Reportedly, there are plenty of mobile apps
provides
Correct pronoun usage
that provides
show examples
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
healthy diet tips, exercise ,yoga practice and meditation.
Moreover
, a responsible person who initiated
this ideas
Change the determiner
this idea
these ideas
show examples
, definitely he will recover from diabetics.
For example
, one of my
friend
Change to a plural noun
friends
show examples
recently tested with high blood
sugar
but now he is completely ok because he followed
keto
Add an article
the keto
a keto
show examples
diet with the help of a mobile app .So that means individual
responsibility
has a vital role in reducing
sugar
consumption. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
there is a saying 'health is our wealth'
similarly
'a sound body can make a sound mind'. So everyone
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
a collective
responsibility
to regulate
sugar
intakes
Fix the agreement mistake
intake
show examples
and healthy habits . It is high time that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
and
people
ensured a healthy routine in our society for
further
development.
Submitted by sooryag03 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: