Excessive sugar consumption causes many diseases. Some people think that it is the government responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption while others think that it is the individual’s responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. Discuss both views

#sugar #consumption #diseases #people #government #responsibility #limit #people’s #individual’s #amount

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In the 21st century consumption of

sugar

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,sugar

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intakes are increase extensively due to unhealthy

lifestyle

However

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one

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group

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a group

the group

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people

ponder that it is the

responsibility

people

themselves to regulate

disease

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diseases

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like diabetics , while other groups

opines

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opine

show examples

that

government

should initiate

new

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a new

show examples

intervention for

this

problem. In

this

essay, I will explain both views with relevant examples.

To begin

,there are many measures that can apply

society

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to society

show examples

with the help of

government

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the government

show examples

to reduce

lifestyle

diseases like diabetics.

Firstly

, food authorities need to list out harmful preservatives and food colours among customers for understanding which one is good for their body.

Inaddition

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In addition

this

is more accurate for

people

to analyse good products from their market.

Secondly

government

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the government

show examples

should initiate a regular community checkup for

people

through

primary

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the primary

show examples

health

center

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centers

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This

will initiate

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apply

show examples

awareness among

public

Correct article usage

the public

show examples

related to high blood

sugar

On the other hand

, educating parents or youngsters

makes

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make

show examples

a huge difference in their outlook of

healthy

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a healthy

show examples

lifestyle

. To illustrate

this

, in Japan every council provides free monthly

Add a hyphen

check-up

show examples

check

Fix the agreement mistake

checks

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up for local

people

and if they have any

lifestyle

disease

government

will provide them

nutrition

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with nutrition

show examples

experts for their

betterments

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betterment

show examples

. Apparently, it's our

responsibility

to take care of our own health because mental preparation is the most important thing for getting

healthy

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a healthy

show examples

body. Admittedly, reducing food consumption helps for weight loss and it

regulate

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regulates

show examples

sugar

level in our blood cells Reportedly, there are plenty of mobile apps

provides

Correct pronoun usage

that provides

show examples

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

healthy diet tips, exercise ,yoga practice and meditation.

Moreover

, a responsible person who initiated

this ideas

Change the determiner

this idea

these ideas

show examples

, definitely he will recover from diabetics.

For example

, one of my

friend

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friends

show examples

recently tested with high blood

sugar

but now he is completely ok because he followed

keto

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the keto

a keto

show examples

diet with the help of a mobile app .So that means individual

responsibility

has a vital role in reducing

sugar

consumption. In

conclusion

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,conclusion

show examples

there is a saying 'health is our wealth'

similarly

'a sound body can make a sound mind'. So everyone

need

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needs

show examples

a collective

responsibility

to regulate

sugar

intakes

Fix the agreement mistake

intake

show examples

and healthy habits . It is high time that

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

and

people

ensured a healthy routine in our society for

further

development.

Submitted by sooryag03 on Wed Aug 04 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

351 words

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Excessive sugar consumption causes many diseases. Some people think that it is the government responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption while others think that it is the individual’s responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. Discuss both views

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Children have more and more tests and exams to do at school, sometime starting until the age of five or six, right up until the age of eighteen. What are the advantages and disadvantages of making childern do exams?

In many countries, people are now living longer than before. Some peple say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

Many people no longer read newspapers or watch TV news programmes. Instead they get news about the world from the Internet. Is this a positive or negative development?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In many countries governments are interesting in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?