Some people think that individuals are becoming more dependent on each other in modern society, while others believe that individuals are becoming more independent of each other. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In past
of
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apply
show examples
years,
people
are more dependent on
another
Correct quantifier usage
others
show examples
one
Correct quantifier usage
others
show examples
.
However
,
Nowadys
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Nowadays
, in
current
Correct article usage
the current
show examples
period individuals
become
Add a missing verb
have become
show examples
more independent . whereas, in my
essay
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,essay
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
will discuss both of
views
Correct pronoun usage
my views
show examples
and my opinion
atlast
Correct your spelling
at last
at least
.
Firstly
,
people
should
dependent
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depend
show examples
on each other in some criteria like on workplace
one
people
need
another ones
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another one
other ones
show examples
help
Add the particle
to help
show examples
or decision . When
collegue
Correct your spelling
colleague
college
working in
same
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the same
show examples
sector to get more
efficency
Correct your spelling
efficiency
and more productivity they have to
dependent
Replace the word
depend
show examples
on another
one
because
individual
Add an article
an individual
the individual
show examples
cannot get success if he/she is not performing together . In
sports
Correct article usage
the sports
show examples
world we can see players play together they trust
on
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apply
show examples
each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
to win like in football,
vollyball
Correct your spelling
volleyball
these are team players games .
For instance
,
in
Add a hyphen
in-hospital
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hospital
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hospitals
show examples
doctors cannot work alone they need
Add an article
a nurse
show examples
nurse
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nurses
show examples
who helped in their work to give
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relief
show examples
relife
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relief
show examples
to their
patient
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patients
show examples
. On another hand , in modern society, individuals have
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
so many components in
technogy
Correct your spelling
technology
they do not need to
intrect
Correct your spelling
interact
interest
people
and meet individuals .Today
one
can do shopping online because
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
gives opportunity to
people
sit home order on
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
doors comes.
people
become more independent due to
advance
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advanced
show examples
technolgy
Correct your spelling
technology
.
For example
, teachers
provides
Change the verb form
provide
show examples
Correct your spelling
homework
show examples
home work
Correct your spelling
homework
show examples
to their students and students takes help from
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
instead
of taking help from their
tutiour
Correct your spelling
tutor
tumour
. At
last
, according to my opinion ,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
that
one
should be dependent because it gives opportunity to communicate with another
one
people
can share their thoughts ,ideas on workplace
eveywhere
Correct your spelling
everywhere
.
Submitted by Harpreet Kaur on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • interconnectedness
  • globalization
  • digital communication platforms
  • mutual dependency
  • economic globalization
  • international supply chains
  • social validation
  • advancements in technology
  • individualism
  • technological tools
  • smartphones
  • personal computers
  • cultural shift
  • self-sufficiency
  • individualistic attitudes
  • personal achievement
  • self-care
  • interdependency
  • societal structures
  • emotional support
  • underlying foundations
  • human interaction
What to do next:
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