People who cause their own illnesses through unhealthy lifestyles and poor diets should have to pay more for health care. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In these present times, healthcare costs are rising due to the growth in modern diseases and viruses which are effect by harmful routines. These lifestyles include disadvantaged nutrition, smoking and lack of exercise.
However
, I partially agree with
this
statement.
Thus
, in
this
essay, both sides of
this
issue will be discussed.
People
who have unhealthy daily life like to ignore their fitness e.g. smoking, drink alcohol, consume
high fat
Add a hyphen
high-fat
show examples
dish
Fix the agreement mistake
dishes
show examples
, and so on.
Moreover
, the major of deceases are occur from personal behaviour. As the result, human has unusual symptoms and go to
hospital
Add an article
the hospital
show examples
to cure.
Then
, persons who get sick should spend more than the well – being person because the treatment expenditure include medicines, services from the medical
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
, lab test, and etc.
For instance
, the office man who love to do their work overtime
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
does not allocate time to work out
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and devours junk foods is affected
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
cancer.
Finally
,
this
man uses his saving money for the treatment. While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
healthy
people
do not matter to disburse for curing.
In contrast
, all
people
should spread on welfare from the government to approach
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
public health because it must be the basis of privilege for all.
Hence
, it will disagree in
this
issue whatever you have a weak condition or strong physique, we must deserve thoroughly in public health services. It can illustrate which sickness
people
should be cured of government healthcare at
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
suitable price and do not cash in the extra bills. In conclusion, from my perspective, I agree with the statement because everyone should care yourselves in order to spend additional for remedy and help to reduce emergency patients.
Submitted by northpole_43420 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • burden
  • lifestyle-related diseases
  • healthcare systems
  • personal responsibility
  • preventable diseases
  • healthcare costs
  • ethical considerations
  • penalizing
  • discrimination
  • socio-economic groups
  • deterrent
  • health education
  • financial penalties
  • health inequalities
  • access to healthcare
  • preventive medicine
  • public health goals
  • promoting healthy lifestyles
What to do next:
Look at other essays: