IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Unhealthy eating has a negative effect on both individuals and the society in which they live. Some people think that the government should tax unhealthy foods while others believe that a “fat tax” is unfair and unnecessary. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

#effect #individuals #society #people #government #tax #foods #“fat #tax”
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Because of the negative effect of unhealthy lifestyle to the society. It
is perceive
Change the verb form
is perceived
show examples
 that
Correct your spelling
government
goverment
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
 should
tax
Use synonyms
 unhealthy
food
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as sugary drinks but others
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
 it is unnecessary. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will elaborate
my
Change preposition
on my
show examples
 opinion regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 matter. In several
countries
Add a comma
,countries
show examples
tax
Use synonyms
 is always an argument especially when it comes to
food
Use synonyms
 and drinks. When there is
tax
Use synonyms
,
price
Correct article usage
the price
show examples
 of goods
tend
Change the verb form
tends
show examples
 to spike and becoming unreasonable to buy.
As a result
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 will not buy
those
Change the determiner
that food
show examples
food
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 them to become more healthy and fit. 
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 consider it unfair to charge those taxes. Mainly because for some in terms of
food
Use synonyms
 government should respect peoples judgement. In my opinion,
tax
Use synonyms
 is not the solution for
people
Use synonyms
 to become healthy. There are many ways
people
Use synonyms
 can do. Like eating nutritious
food
Use synonyms
 and exercises regularly. And
also
Linking Words
 I find unfair for some
people
Use synonyms
 paying
tax
Use synonyms
 related to foods. To conclude,
government
Add an article
the government
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 should not implement
fat
Correct article usage
a fat
show examples
tax
Use synonyms
 and it
unreasonable
Add a missing verb
is unreasonable
show examples
 to
tax
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by mafrancessanne on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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