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Band 5

Some people like to live alone in some countries. What are the reasons?

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Introduction
Linking Words
This
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
In
this
Linking Words
 high technology world,
people
Use synonyms
 like to live alone more than to live in the community more than to be in
society
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the reasons
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
why
people
Use synonyms
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
desire to live in
this
Linking Words
 contemporary world.
Body paragraph 1
The reason why
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to live by themselves lie in
indivisuals
Correct your spelling
individual
individuals
 and societal values. One of the
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 is modernization.
People
Use synonyms
 in the past lived with
big
Add an article
a big
show examples
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 and cared about the family and community,
however
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 in the present prioritize their own life over others and their desires to live.
Body paragraph 2
Alone without any distraction and disturbance from others. They opt to live alone.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
,
society
Use synonyms
 starts to respect
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
kind
Use synonyms
 of family different.
For example
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 have come to any gathering or family party with
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of families like
single person
Add a hyphen
single-person
show examples
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
.
Body paragraph 3
This
Linking Words
 develop trend can have advantage and disadvantage results. With regards to advantage, the
kind
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
concentrate
Change the verb form
concentrates
show examples
 on their studies.
For instance
Linking Words
, they can improve on computer skills. Because
this
Linking Words
kind
Use synonyms
 of major
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 more focusing as well as no disturbing. They can put all their energy
on
Change preposition
into
show examples
 learning in
type
Add an article
the type
a type
show examples
 of
cours
Correct your spelling
course
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, living by own can
elinate
Correct your spelling
eliminate
alienate
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 from others including family members. The result of
this
Linking Words
kind
Use synonyms
 of life is loneliness.
Conclusion
In conclusion, living alone can become
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 main path in some societies. Because now we live in
indvisualistic
Correct your spelling
individualistic
society
Use synonyms
 and we are going to
this
Linking Words
 way
quicly
Correct your spelling
quickly
.
this
Linking Words
 type of life make
distance
Add an article
the distance
show examples
 between family members and
society
Use synonyms
.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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